Pay no attention to ephemeral poses
for least becomes the greatest at eventide;
the noise of its origin, arpeggio
clown-drunk, it is crooned from
the tongues of entertaining earth angels.
Pain will be signed on jagged petitions
inked in poison for theatrical signature
and all this careless smiling for a
seventh performance without tears-
just so encores will not be denied.
Author notes
Prompt 2 & 3.
Sorrow's Serenade-title
A contest entry
- Let's get poetickkk! Options/Prompts provided =] by notorious.
450 points, ended April 13, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Interesting and enigmatic. Speaks without the pain of goodbyes. (trying to)
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Well first off, let me say what a wonderful poem--also thank you very much for dropping by and commenting my most recent one. This piece has a very effective and emotional title that supports a very sorrowful write. "for least becomes the greatest at eventide" very great line, seems almost subversive to something, but I can't put my finger on what. I'm not really good at commenting, and I am new here, but I just felt that I needed to return the favor you gave to me. Cheers!
Good luck in everything you do.
edit: oh another thing, if you ever comment my poems again, could you please use your "critique 2 option"? hah, it's just that I realize that everyone needs to improve somewhere.
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I love this one, so clever and full of meaning, lying just under the surface. In the first line of the second stanza, did you mean "jagged" rather than "zagged." Or is this a play on the word "zig zag?"
In any case, you are quite the entertaining earth angel and your words stimulate feeling and thought in equal measure. You never cease to amaze me.
CaliOkie
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"seventh performance" I of course wonder what that really signifies. Beyond the operatic suggestion I'm sure there is a deeper meaning, one in which we put on masks and disguise real feelings. "Clown-drunk" is a good phrase, it's obscure enough to be intriguing but familiar enough to give possibilities of meaning. Of course the author knows the real meaning, but probably won't divulge it to me.
It's very good, I'm glad I random clicked.
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Deeply intense and haunting. It seems like you used both options #2 and 3 since you used all 5 words: ephemeral, greatest, tongue (though in the plural sense), poison, and seventh. Very creative..
The most striking lines to me:
"ephemeral poses"
Very clever use of the word 'ephemeral', because nobody can stay frozen in the same pose forever, now can they? Nice touch.
"the noise of its origin, arpeggio"
I actually play piano, so I know what an arpeggio is--nice word insertion.
"clown-drunk"
Clowns are scary to me...nice phrase.
"Pain will be signed"
Wonderful personification.
"inked in poison"
I like.
Great entry--good luck in the contest.
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