Locked
in a tight embrace,
constricting until
she gasps...
She's intoxicated
on his venom
(delivered with
quick fangs and
darting tongue.)
Give in to temptation
from a creature
built to Sin.
Author notes
Snake bite.
I'll be 18 in 16 days, so I hope I'm not jumping the gun too much or anything.
A contest entry
- Semi Quick Contest by Reptile Lady ADULT ONLY PLEASE by Reptile Lady.
550 points, ended April 8, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thanks for commenting!
Comments
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Blended together beautifully
Imagery of the Snake and the imagery of her
Thank you for your entry and good luck
Julie
HAPPY BIRTHDAY XX -
Happy soon to be 18! You certainly can write an erotic poem! hehe First stanza, written metaphor of a boa constrictor. Brilliant! "into" should be "in to" as in "you walk into a room". Best wishes in this contest. I'm not sure how your title fits in, but you are the writer, I am only asking. Best wishes. I hope you use my constructive criticism as a helping hand.
Shana -
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The title was directed at my last stanza. I was trying to say that it was what they were meant to due, it was in their nature? Make sense? Thank you so much for the honest and helpful critique.
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