nothing has erased you
and sometimes my body is liquid
with the impression of your warm skin
and your breath on my neck.
I have a vision of you,
and how could I forget your pressure?
My body expands, holds, shudders (release)
and you know it. You break me.
echoes of your laugh,
your body, your being. It takes me
all night to feel you in my dreams
the way you moved me with a touch.
A contest entry
- you be in my dreams.... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended April 20, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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WOW!
this poem was intense... wow
absolutely amazing can't believe you didn't win a trophy in this contest. Great write. Thank you for sharing!
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First of all, very interesting title! That's what drew me in - Just the thought of being able to 'undream' - thought provoking. Then you continue to write of love, and possibly even the harshness it may sometimes have.
"nothing has erased you
and sometimes my body is liquid"
-- Great opening line, it was my favorite as there is an amazing visual here - 'my body is liquid' - very nice!
Amber
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Ah..you are roaming in the words of love bringing the depth and the beauty of the heart..well done..and my thanks for sharing it....
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Good
I know, I know, it's my third comment, but you come well recommended on my home page. This one was just priceless. It's as if by becoming calm, you observe the slow and difficult dissolution of this lover's memory.
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