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On The Periphery ... (of Gypsies)





Look she said
the gypsies
those god-dam thieves

their tents
out on our hill

Christ, not again
I said
those Paganini's
last time they took
all of our fences
for fires

she got so pissed
she wouldn't let me
touch her
all the way home

later when

their harmonies
and their music
got too loud
she wanted to be under me

so there wasn't any time
for delicate dancing
or sweet duets

this was rush
for a duvet fuck
and i think
she was glad about that



Author notes

“Be born anywhere, little embyro novelist, but do not be born under the shadow of a great creed, not under the burden of original sin, not under the doom of salvation. Go out and be born among the gypsies or thieves or among happy workaday people who live in the sun and do not think about their souls.”

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • tara wilson gold member
    February 10

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    i love this, there are so many different moods we can have sex in -- kind of like making love [hehehe] to different kinds of music, this is interesting & uniquely sensual. i love how you used the wildness of gypsies


  • natari
    January 25

    Edit | Reply
    I like how the poem builds up. The gypsy woven in was nice. I'm from a country that has them. They live in caravans and some have ponies still. Very alluring and yet also menacing in a way. i like


  • klassy lassy gold member
    May 26, 2008

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    Souls, soles equal dance...like fire and shadows. The fences were a touch of genius... gypsies have no need of them, so they come down and the music begins. It takes a little time, but heat often adds up to spontaneious combustion.


  • Blkwidow77 silver member
    April 19, 2008

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    Strange. I liked it, but strange. I don't know. You sound very much like more simple country folk here. Or perhaps farmers. lol Maybe you are.

    This piece is very real and down to earth. I like how it felt natural and like I was just able to peak in on you guys and hear what was going on in your lives. I liked the part about the gypsies taking the fences. That part said a great deal about them as well as you two and the feelings inbetween.

    I wasn't so crazy about the last stanza though. It didn't seem as smoothly worded. But perhaps the strong word seemed odd and abrasive to me because I wasn't expecting it.

  • Apparition
    April 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    And to think a gypsie encounter spurred this to life.

    Nothing wrong with being a gypsy...as long as they leave the fences. And I can think of no better way to work off anger...there is much to be said for "fast".
    Nicely done.


    • quietly burning
      April 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      yeah that should be in there somewhere as a coping strategy for "anger management".

  • Zayra Yves
    April 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Well, this is a surprise. Great poetry. I also like your author's comments.


    • quietly burning
      April 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      yeah, author gets to be stud, that's a good deal.

      I think somehow you're from the land of gypsies Zayra. enjoyed your latest. You must be quite busy in production, you haven't been posting much of late.
  • Shannon
    April 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love it. I feel like I just stepped into a movie theatre and came upon this scene/dialogue of a great movie that I am not familiar but want to know more...

    however, for the sake of poetry, i think it's perfect that this is all I got.

    My favorite, for some reason, was "she was so pissed / she wouldn't let me / touch her / all the way home."

    For some reason it just made me laugh. It's absolutely timeless, this bit. It could be any couple, anywhere, any century, in a stagecoach or in a new BMW.

    God, women are so fantastic and frustrating and sometimes I wish I was a man so I could both adore and be frustrated by women. I guess I can now, too...but this poem kind of made me want to be the speaker, the man, here.

    your Author's Quote is interesting. I love it. I imagine this is set in Andalucia...where is that quote from?

    You teach me so many things.

    Write more.


    • quietly burning
      April 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      lol yeah they're so touchy sometimes, hot and cold you know, but it worked out pretty well for them in the piece above.

      as far as the quote goes, i googled gypsy quotes and ran through 3 or 4 ... "Pearl S. Buck quotes" (American author, 1938 Nobel Prize for Literature, 1892-1973.


  • TheNymph
    April 6, 2008

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    this is wonderful, so evocative and beautifully crafted. i love the quote and where it led you with this piece of writing.

1 - 16 of 16