we play and run
through the hot sun
we laugh and sing
fly on birds wing
I was six the first time you came to my bed
that night I cried, my heart made of lead
you took something right then, even I didn't know
you stopped being my brother, you are now my foe.
I cry and scream
you laugh and scheme
I hurt and shake
you do nothing but take.
at nine you were taken away from the home
I was free, you wouldn't be here to roam
you were gone a month when the dreams first hit
I thought I was free, still I fell into your pit
I twist and turn
oh I wish you'd burn
I fight and hate
now falling into the gate
dad yelled not believing the assault
telling me how it was all my fault
mom cried herself to sleep at night
it could stop if I just climb a new hight
I'm alone and lost
my heart is frost
you're getting help
oh how I could yelp
when I was seventeen I saw you with strife
mother had brought you back into my life
a month later you came again to my bed
with thoughts in your head of wanting to wed
scared and hurt
you lift my skirt
I want to fly
inside, I did die.
you were no longer a child to prison you go
where you could learn your lesson and grow
five years of your life, not near long enough
my whole life you took without any rebuff.
another shock
without block
you've come back
now I need pack
you told me you only did it to prove you're a man
you always thought you had the master plan
you would become one of us, a woman, through and through
but where does that leave me, my heart all askew.
confused and scared
not believing you dared
I'm an emotional sieve
unable to forgive
A contest entry
- Give Me Anything (PW Allowed) by swimmeroks.
900 points, ended January 6, 108 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abuse, Death, Pain by psychomonkey.
550 points, ended October 29, 146 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - childhood memories of abuse - PW allowed - PIC Prompts too by couldbeworse.
850 points, ended March 3, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please tell me what you think, critical or otherwise.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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such a heartfelt and sad poem, i could really pick up on the situation you were in here. it must have been really hard to write about; thank you for sharing it with everyone. great job on the writing, good luck in the contest
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so very sad and painful but well written. i am so glad you have moved on and are focused on helping others. thanks for entering
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wow... this was an amazing write. I loved the tragic story you told. It was so full of emotion and it gave me goosebumps as i read it. Some of the rhyming did seem a little forced but the subject and the story itself and the way you expressed it kinda made up for it. This is one of my favorites in the contest. Thank you for entering
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WOW!!!
Theres not much i can say about this!! I think its GREAT!!! I really loved this write.. Im really sorry that this has happened to you and i hope everything is better!!! You did a great job expressing how you feel.. I felt every single emotion expressed!!! I even had some tears in my eyes!!!! You did a great job... keep it up!!
I really liked this
I twist and turn
oh I wish you'd burn
I fight and hate
now falling into the gate
Shannon*Leah
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a very sad and emotional poem, had my eyes tear up. but it is also beautiful the way you put it, not what happen to you. but how you were able to write it and they way you used your words. very powerful and meaningful. thank you for sharing.
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never be scared
this has to be one of the most real and powerful poems i've read on this site since i started coming here.i'm regrettably sorry for what happened to you, but the fact that you had the strength and courage to leave it up here and not take it down, shows you're on the right track to reclaiming your life and establishing your voice. usually i have trouble grasping the message of rhyming poems but the message here shined through quite strongly. my only advice is not in regards to your poem but to you as a person. never be scared to speak your mind and put your word out there. and most importantly take pride in everything you create. it doesn't matter if people say it sucks or if it's magnificent, as long as you keep poetry alive poems like these will always hold great significance. good job, i know this sounds weird since it be the first poem i've ever read of yours, but i'm proud of you for creating this piece. lol sorry for the rant.
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Never be sorry
Thank you for your words they mean a lot to me. I will work on letting my words free into this world of ours. thank you for your encouragement.
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Wow, this is an incredibly powerful poem, and such a tragic story! There are a few typos, but nothing that a run through the spell-check wouldn't fix, and it doesn't really distract the reader to the point of it being a problem .. well written!
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*crys softly*
M'Lady, your pain is palable you show true and raw emotin thank you for sharing this. -
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thank you
M'Lord, I really do have to thank you. I was nerves putting this poem up here. and was really thinking about taking it down. but I'm glad you took the time to read and comment it really means alot to me!
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