when breeze
tugs gentle at the face of sanctuary,
thoughts become soul
and spirit
the realm of liberty,
as antediluvian vista
untouched
beckons mind
into flight of Hope –
a volte-face
into the presence of His love
Author notes
aka fransb
In a list
A contest entry
- Titles Are Us - April Contest by CitrineSunrise.
900 points, ended April 20, 2008, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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About Face!
It's great when I'm reading & I have to go to the Dictionary! I love to learn...though I'm a bit slow..ADD, Traumatic Brain Injury, Women's Brain Fog...ugh !!! Oh well...I'm intelligent enough to appreciate the depth [antediluvian] of the thought here & the fact that thoughts that run deep so often [and should always!] bring us into His presence. Wonderful work here deserving of the Gold you received!
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Frans, I am sorry I didn't get to this while the contest was going on. Your words made me do an "about face" as I wandered deep inside them. The ocean is a place of peace for me and you showed just how special it is by bringing light to a picture that some may look at and see sadness or dreariness. Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Congratulations on the gold trophy and let that ink flow on. Kudos for being so in touch with your inner self. Love and God bless you my new friend, Joyce
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Dear Joyce
Thank you for commenting, This I truly appreciate. Perhaps if you have time, you would like to read my latest poems: 'Heart's Gold, Nourishment and Examine my Humanness. Frans
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I loved the feeling of this piece including the use of the term volte-face for an "about face". I admire poets who find interesting new ways to express themselves. You have taken a somewhat bleak picture and translated it into a message of hope. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz
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Dear Liz
thank you very much for your award, and more so, the comments, which I appreciate. Frans
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My mind and muse has been so jumbled recently I couldn't begin to comment on meaningful poetry such as this but I do wish you well in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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A strange time, indeed,
that must have been,
then God chose a "do-over."
Most thought provoking, frans.
Aesthete
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Your words transcended ...
mere visuality, and took me into the realm of the Divine, with swiftness of words like liberty and flight of Hope.
You have a way to condense and to expand at the same time ... Amazing!
Good luck in the contest.
Edengroete
Myra
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"a volte-face into the presence of His love" describes metanoia beautifully. The body of the poem is a little cryptic, due, I would say, to where the punctuation falls, and the mixture of lines with and without articles (a/an/the). I am unsure as to what is the subject-word the verb "beckon"; if it is "vista" I would expect "beckons".
Sorry Frans - I tend to pull poems to pieces.
Overall I do like it. I like the "feel" of it.
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