Her beauty was intolerable
anxiety struck me with dark green eyes
sanded complexion glistened like moist beaches
her sweet subtle voice harmonized with my heart
Her ripened strawberry blond hair made my mouth salivate
Sense of humor bloomed into roses of perfection
Thoughts of reason seasoned tastefully brilliant
My sweet salvation take me away
to your palace of depth
A contest entry
- THE BEST OF YOUR BEST by Whispering Wind.
900 points, ended April 16, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
whats your opinion about it?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Breath Taking my friend...the flow is magic in the making...sighs...and the emotions you having flowing sings to the heart. niaish so much for sharing and for entering
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As a poet, I understand the poem and the word "intolerable." Taken literally, you wouldn't want her beauty to be intolerable, otherwise you would not be able to bear it. But as a poet, I really liked the poem.
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Excellent
You wove this with a wonderful flow and great images. Best of luck in the contest.
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"Her beauty was intolerable"
"Thoughts of reason seasoned tastefully brilliant"
It's great. Well written. Your talent shines with each new poem. Keep writting!
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Oh how sweet..You are in love?! Awww..
Ok OK.. sorry .. about the poem.. It was really good.. Yet for some reason to me it seemed like it was a little forced.. I know that is more then likely not true, because this was full of so much emotion that your words were not coming out fast enough..
but I really did enjoy it!..
Great write..
Peace to you,
Jetleena
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awwww
bones is in love
a great example of delicate description -
wow! love it!
I loved the flowing senses in this poem,
we all are curious now to meet her too,
pls. send pic!
giggle.
ears/Seattle.
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Beautiful :
Her ripened strawberry blond hair made my mouth salivate
Sense of humor bloomed into roses of perfection
I really didn't think this poem could get any better as it was already, in my eyes, perfect.
I was wrong.
Well done!! =] -
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Thank you very much
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Haha! I love this one Brant!
I think you did a great job with
it. I love the metaphor and
imagery in this. Well done bro
and thanks a lot for sharing it
with me here!
Jeremy0826 -
good start ....
I love that first line,
her beauty was intolerable...love it!
wish we could find a jewel to add to your dark blue
eyes, amyesthist...or something jewel, you could google
jems to take a peek at what jems are blue.
3rd line's perfect.
4th her sweet subtle voice harmonized with my heart.
a dark twist..catarized my aching heart.
her sweet subtle voice harmonized WITHIN my heart.
so ?????....keep writing...
leads well into the next lines...
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This is beautiful!
I'm almost speechless.
The first line blew me away, I just keep reading it over and over.
Your word choice in this is excellent, and the imagery created by this piece is simply amazing.
You say this piece is unfinnished? but I like it just as it is, allthough if you are going to add more please do it soon! As I would love to see the rest of this poem.
Arc-En-Ciel--x
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