the wind blowing soft all around me,
my eyes focused on the beautiful shimmering lake,
leaves falling above my head and slowly glided towards me,
birds soaring above searching for some food to eat,
i walk slowly towards the lake and look at the surface,
i see the reflection of a beautiful woman,
and then all of a sudden she dissapeared,
then her hand i could feel on my shoulder,
but the feeling of that also shortly passed away,
i raised my head and looked into the clouds,
remembering the goood times that we had always had together,
you were always the one that could put a smile on my face,
i sat down and continued to daze into the sky,
my thoughts soared inside of my head of happiness and sadness both,
because i had lost someone special and she had meant the world to me,
i love you grandma and i always work hard,
so that i know i will once be able to see you again.
For those that have ever lost someone dear to them.
what do you think. please tell truth if it sucks, then it sucks
Comments
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This was actually pretty good.. You could feel the emotion in this piece.. It was a little hard to see the image that you were trying to creat.. It kind of started out like a love poem to me.. But then the end kind of through me.. But I still liked it.. I would just suggest that you re-read this piece and see if anything else comes to mind that you could add to this and make it really great... But it's still a pretty good piece.. You expressed your emotions well.
Great write.
Peace to you,
Jetleena

