drumbeats.

I try to tell you

with the softness of my smile,

that your pain is slowly stripping mine away.

Desperate arms

and too-deep kisses,

are replacing my aching fingertips.

losing sleep

due to the state of the sheets,

and your bedframe movements take everything away.

but the more I give,

the more I forget,

I was empty to begin with.

Author notes

I tried to make this one moment that has happened to me, but it came out more vague than that. Anyways, here it is.

THE SATURDAY NIGHT PARTY [challenge] [tonight] by Ryno. 300 points, ended April 7, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
sheltered
April 7, 2008
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This was very effective because it really made me feel the emptiness.
Ryno
April 7, 2008
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Dang! This is excellent; there is very strong, raw emotions in here that are easy to connect to because of the easy, strong imagery where we but ourselves into your shoes.

Complete with a powerful, philosophical thought at the end.

I really liked this Thanks for the entry.