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ungrateful

he calls me ungrateful.

ungrateful for what, his malice, his immature
charm, his way of making me feel
that my soul is crippled?

true, he used to set my heart on fire
and i couldnt see through his false innocence
and i saw beauty in his spirit, and in his eyes
i saw what might have been true love,
what might have been only greed.

i loved him.

i loved his power to captivate me
the way he used to trick me into thinking
that i was loved.
his softly vicious smile
that i almost envied.

i was blind then.

now, my soul is shattered
and i can't turn away. i've tried apologizing
nothing works.
torn
by the truth i never knew.
i never broke away

and he calls me ungrateful.

Author notes

I wrote this for a contest, and got honorable mentions! *does a little dance* It was the first contest I ever entered, and it was my first day at AllPoetry, so I was pretty happy.

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Chelsea Void
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this and was a little unnerved by the fact that I can relate so easily to it.
    the only thing I would say is use proper capitalization


    • Shya
      May 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Well, I wrote everything lowercase on purpose. It's the style of the poem, and supposed to add to the mood. (If you read my other poems, you'll see that not all of them are like that.) Thanks for the compliment, by the way...


  • Angelflower
    May 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this..
    It was very emotional and very
    heart wrenching at the same time..
    Many I'm sure can relate to this..
    you did a wonderful job..
    Best of luck..

    Angel


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    May 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It's him who really is ungrateful and I can relate to this as all 3 of my partners have in some way in my eyes been a little ungreatful. The first was quite abusive and mean, the second was abusive and distant somewhat and the third is just distant and grumpy and it's just... I always did everything for them and gave them the most love they could want, it's me who should feel that they are ungrateful.


  • Topaze gold member
    May 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    a powerful piece indeed, very well written, my best wishes in the contest.

  • Eusebius
    April 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    bravo

    A very well woven poem, indeed, marvelous diction throughout... loved it... loved it.... bravo... bravo...

1 - 6 of 6