Turtles
winter weary
sprawling, sunning, steaming
sunlit sparkling shiny shells
Testudines
Author notes
Modern Cinquain
Testudine: Turtles are reptilians of the Order Testudines (all living turtles belong to the crown group Chelonia).
A contest entry
- Turtles by MagicLady.
475 points, ended April 8, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This was my first time I read or saw a modern cinquain. These turtles were huge snappers.....big enough to chomp off your hand or at least a few fingers. They were everywhere.
I liked the use of alliteration in all the lines. I think the ING endings of line three were a bit too much. Line four was my favorite. In all, you did a good job.
Cheryl
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Testudines
Testudines is the vocab word for today. As we go about our day, let’s all try to use this new word that we had to go to Google to find the meaning of. As this picture is one of the first spring days of the year, we can see this from the new leaves just budding on the bushes, you have been very observant to capture the basic elements of the scene. My hat comes off to you.
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I like this a lot and I've learned a new word!
The biological word fits very well at the end of your cinquain.
jjj
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I really enjoyed this short poem. The imagery goes with the picture prompt beautifully. Good luck in the contest.
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This looks more like 2,4,6,7,3 but the form is not a familiar one to me and certainly not in its modern form.
I like the visual imagery of 'steaming' and the alliteration works nicely. The part that irks me the most is the ending. I would have preferred a return to turtles or something radicallt different but that's just me.
Overall I liked it and it works well. good luck with it
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a short poem consisting of five, usually unrhymed lines containing, respectively, two, four, six, eight, and two syllables. Nicely done
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not sure what a modern cinquain is? Can you explain?
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