nails through dirty palms pushing
rusty feeling through once flowing veins,
time to pour out my heart
onto the sand of 'innocent' bystanders.
wheat fields saturated with red iron
to bake broken bread,
irrication for the sinner's soul.
salty sweat fertilizing vineyards
[every stolen taste is my reminder,
death is oh-so bittersweet.]
my rocky bed is welcome relief,
free from the jeers of once-called followers
[dare not called friends],
to close my eyes finally
and welcome damnation...
a thorny crown making me Satan's queen.
~~~
Author notes
As you can probably tell, I'm not in a good mood. Looks like I even put a bit of religion in this one. hmm.
A contest entry
- THE SATURDAY NIGHT PARTY [challenge] [tonight] by Ryno.
300 points, ended April 7, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
...
Comments
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This is so cool that it burns. Excellentest.
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Yikes. This metaphor is Cah-ray-zee. It intensifies the emotions to extreme, powerful levels... nuts, just nuts
And even works so well for the reader to see the dark mood/atmosphere, since crucifixion is a dark atmosphere!
Skillfully penned... strikingly powerful and excellent idea.
Thanks for the entry
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wow. Very powerful.... I love how you did this one. It's brilliant! Yes! Brilliant.... You are an amazing poet, you really show it through your amazing penmanship, and your great vocabulary.
The images and thoughts in this one are very deep and dark -- what an interesting message.
~
keep penning..
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brilliant...
A brilliant piece, and yes, I'm guessing you're not in a good mood. Cassie, you threw in a bit of a crusifiction(spelling?) in there.
i hope you feel a bit better!
will #9 cheer you up?? It's not out yet, but I'm soo close!
~Annie
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