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Fading Dream

 

So consumed in life and what it brings

that we’ve forgotten how to live.

Rather, we merely observe.

What is the master plan?

Society’s pawns;

wandering, lost.

Tomorrow's 

fading

dream.

 

Author notes

I chose Option 1. and my song is 'Slip Slidin Away - Paul Simon'

Lyrics:
http://www.lyricsdepot.com/paul-simon/slip-slidin-away.html

youtube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKxyoud_c-E&feature=related


Image credits: http://mrcool256.deviantart.com/art/Pathway-to-the-Sun-81957579

***This poem is my first try at a Nonet. The rules for the form can be found here: http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/nonet.html***

In a list

A contest entry

If there's a mistake in the form, let me know this was harder then it looks!

: , Your review:

Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
: no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • temporarily-this
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    Very, very clever! A well deserved gold. (hmm, I really should experiment with more forms myself).


  • DogFish silver member
    May 4
    Edit | Reply

    Gold Worthy !

    (There are "moments" I softly hum that Paul Simon song to myself!)


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    April 27

    Edit | Reply
    Holy cow that is awesome!! I love the way the text got smaller as if fading away...

    Well deserved gold!


  • penman gold member
    April 26
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Great creation for the contest. Congrats on your gold.


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    April 25

    Edit | Reply

    Well done

    This was really outstanding!!! I love how you faded the words! you are such a bright girl!

    Congratulations on the Golden trophy. I would also award you GOLD. The pick is so beautiful!

    WELL DONE

    . Rewarded 4


  • jcat gold member
    April 21

    Edit | Reply
    Not only is this a stunning masterpiece but the form just lends itself to the beauty of your words!!! Fantastic!!! I love it!!! I will have to try one of these forms myself!! Congrats on the shiney it was very deserved!!

    . Rewarded 4


  • EmmaLuLu
    April 13

    Edit | Reply
    Oh i love the way u wrote this poem. and the structure is amazing. the picture went well with the poem too. love ur profile btw Please comment some of my poems thanks x

    . Rewarded 4


  • Hekate gold member
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    omgosh love the layout, and everything that you've done with this poem..totally brillant! Thanks for your entry

    . Rewarded 4


  • hiraeth
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    I've never heard of a nonet before, but this was pretty awesome. I can't tell you if there's anything wrong with the form, but the way you had the text shrinking throughout the poem was highly effective & actually relevant.

    "Society’s pawns
    wandering; lost" --
    Here, I think it might read better with a comma after both "pawns" and "wandering," but that's just a personal preference, so ignore me if you will

    -Cristina

  • Perception
    April 6

    Edit | Reply
    hmm... Very interesting way to write. I love how it fades away... It has a wonderful effect upon my eyes. Your words are flawlessly chosen, and beautifully penned.
    Wonderful

  • Aurora Ceres gold member
    April 6

    Edit | Reply
    This is so creative...the words shrinking are like a faint whisper fading into a shadow of thought.  Intriguing. It's sad, we live in a world where more people are humans being, not truly living. The form was well executed as was the interpretation. My best to you in this challenge.

    Bella

    . Rewarded 6

1 - 12 of 12