Follow me down the river
Where the upturned faces are bright and gold
Where the sun bathes your face with unique praise
Up on that hill
The others walk away and turn there heads.
They are only in shame.
They file away as you stay there
Down the river
Up on the hill
Where the sun bathes your bright, gold face with unqiue praise.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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wow thats a really good poem =) keep writting your really good!
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A great poem! It's given me a few ideas!
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Short but you made a point and i liked that. The end was just amazing. "The others walk away and turn there heads.
They are only in shame.
They file away as you stay there
Down the river
Up on the hill
Where the sun bathes your bright, gold face with unqiue praise" Great job. Shweet.
..<3..
Shelly -
Good write. I think you meant "their" in the fifth line. Other than that, this is pretty solid.
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Creates thoughts...which is always good for a poem. The content is good though a bit short. I must concur with the others, this could be taken places through adding content.
G -
Hm.... Yes... A little bit longer... more expanding on the topics... More description, something to make an impact... something that makes me think. something that puts a powerful image in my head, that you'll leave me thinking... wow... that image is beautiful... Something that I'll remember you by.
But, anywho. I do like this one. I really like the concept... Wonderful
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Well......
It's a great poem but i have to agree with the previous commenter...I was expecting something a bit longer but i really like it and hopefully you'll expand the poem's length.
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Interesting. To be honest its a bit short. Like it was the beginning of a longer piece. Its good, dont get me wrong, I like it. I just really feel like there is more there, that there is a possibility for more. Still well written.
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