I thought you were the one
to help me when I was down.
I assumed you were the one
who would always be around.
I loved you
you felt the same
You took away my innocence
and pretended like you cared.
You even held me close
when I was oh so scared.
But then you changed
boy was I wrong
The day came when you left me
A departure so unkind
And now my back is bleeding
from the knife you left behind.
Author notes
pink is my favorite color prompt 3
A contest entry
- Need New Favourites by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended April 10, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BackStabber! by GypsyEyes.
575 points, ended April 18, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - anything goes- freewrite/rhyme by ichigosama.
600 points, ended April 14, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quickie Anything Goes by Gibson.
800 points, ended May 9, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want your BEST prewrites!! by perfectsunset.
1000 points, ended April 24, 2008, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Where's my stinkin' trophy? by Great Cthulhu.
1500 points, ended April 25, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagination Required! Options! by ShiningNShadows.
725 points, ended December 16, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me anything! by ASmileForYou.
560 points, ended December 16, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Loved the ending!
Nice write -
This is very good. I enjoy how close I can relate. Nice job. Good luck in my contest!
-
Relationships are tough. I felt the pain you conveyed so well with this simple write. I'd like to see more punctuation to improve the flow. Thanks for entering!
-
I'm sorry, my contest was only for people on my favorites list.

Your poem, however, did hit a chord with me. I think everyone goes through that kind of heartbreak at some point. It's a very powerful and emotional piece - nicely done.
Best of luck in the other contests you've entered!
-
This was a beautiful, deeply emotional poem. I do feel your pain, because I have been through similar situations in life. It's hard when a love breaks your heart it feels like a knife to the back... but we have to learn with time, to let go.
Good write! Thanks for entering & best of luck
-
ichigosama
wow, i feel so sad for you. the people you trusted let you down and left a scar a lifetime. i loved you you felt the same. very touching. nice write and thanks for entering. -
*hug* this is very good! i really liked the last stanza you wrote! you have a great flow to this poem. thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! NineTailedFox
-
I can relate to this... you think someone special in your life is always going to be there and when they turn away, it just breaks your spirit and heart completely. I had that happen to me by my ex and it hurt so bad I wanted to give up on everything. Always here if need to talk.
1 - 8 of 8







