The helpless slipping away
innocent loyalties and loves:
eroding, losing, and being taken from
my grasp.
I think of myself and then of the sorrows of others.
A primal sob assuages
the passing
of the best I know
so many faces in the face of things:
Otto Frank reading the diary of his daughter,
Ann,
Gustav Mahler composing the Kindertoten Lieder.
My visage masks the keening;
the beard is trimmed
the hair is brushed to show a bit of dash.
A contest entry
- Sighing by CarolDesjarlais.
900 points, ended April 6, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tired of HM's (X) by PatheticKt.
550 points, ended August 26, 2008, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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oh wow. !! i really like it. I love the diary of Ann Frank its such a sad story. and such an emotionally touching one. Very nice poem
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very good write
I really liked this one because it shows that goodness in life is slowly diminishing. (at least that's what i got out of it lol) very strong word choices as well!
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ah i love the lines
The helpless slipping away
innocent loyalties and loves:
eroding, losing, and being taken from
my grasp.
lovely just lovely, good write -
Hello . . .
. . . lovely write you got here and the words told by the persona had that philosophical or maybe observant point of view, you know?
The lines written here were quite well done, all right because I love the beginning and ending; yes, I got confused at the few last lines of the second stanza, though ^^'
"Otto Frank reading the diary of his daughter,
Ann,
Gustav Mahler composing the Kindertoten Lieder."
Did not get that part but it was definitely intriguing, any back story behind this or something?
Overall, good write you got here ~ -
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I guess that I assumed that every post 5th grade student had heard of Ann Frank and that anyone exposed to classical music would know of Gustav Mahler. These are both pipelines to human sadness and great beauty.
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Ahh, that explains it Thanks for the reply and sorry if I wasn't one of those people you assume because we didn't learn about music at all ^^', we just hear names like Beethoven and umm, etc
Thanks for the reply again, got the theme clearer and definitely got interested to search further about them; cheers 
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Interesting write! I liked the ending -
"The beard is trimmed
the hair is brushed to show a bit of dash"
--to show a bit a dash
Nice write Amber
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Very well written. I enjoyed this line the most of all."so many faces in the face of things"
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You have a keen eye. I have made the correction, and benefited. Muchas gracias.
Bill -
Strong stuff, I especially like the opening stanza.
Jim
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"A primal sob assuages
the passing
of the best I know
so many faces in the face of things:" in the face of things...oh yes..pwoerful writing.... the sigh is not negative at all, but one of knowing....really well-written.
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