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The Dawn Song

We sang the moon across the sky
We sang the sun from its resting
The stars went out one by one
The light replaced night's velvet
As we sang our song together

Our song was done
The day had dawned
We lay, our bodies entwined
I touched your cheek
You said my name
And the birds sang for the dawning

Our minds drifted
Our bodies exhausted
Our thoughts brushed each other
Like butterflies in the sun
You sighed and slept

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

  • Vania
    April 20, 2008

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    beautiful. your use of imagery and metaphors is amazing, and creates a wonderful picture. you have created another perfect poem.
    may life treat you and yours kindly.
    -Vania


  • Robin Candor
    April 6, 2008
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    I have almost forgetten what this is like. You captured the moment the time and the dawn exquisitly. All I can say is you go girl. The butterflies in the sun brushing relating to two peoples thoughts was the best lines for me. I will hang on to that thought and use it sometime. RC