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On The Beach




under
blue skies,

from a towel 
on sand

with my
finger

I nudge
the idle clouds

to welcome
the sun


A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Heart Sutra
    April 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful little poem!

    I can see why it won the gold!

    More than ever I seem to crave the sun...just give me the sun!


  • Sweet Sorrow
    April 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    under
    blue skies,

    from a towel
    on sand

    with my
    finger

    I nudge
    the idle clouds

    to welcome
    the sun...

    so compact and simple yet full of imagery, the feeling it evokes to the readers mind leaves beyond imagination. Congrats on the gold my dear


    under
    blue skies,

    from nowhere
    you came
    unexpectedly

    with my
    vivid imagination

    I trace
    the contours
    of your image

    to my minds eyes
    you are such
    a beautiful specie
    to behold...sweet sorrow (rose tattoo)

  • imahealer
    April 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can just see you lying on the beach, tanning yourself, and pushing the clouds away. You are so talented. So few words. A picture painted. Congratulations on gold, (for the one who gets no respect! LOL

    Shana


  • Chocoholic156
    April 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Many poems I comment on being too wordy, definitely this one is not one of those. The is a simple poem, yet you filled it wiht images that take you away to a forgotten land. This is a really nice poem and I enjoyed reading it.


  • azure85 gold member
    April 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Such nice images with your poem, I very much enjoyed "nudge the idle clouds!" May the sun shine for you today, thank you so much.

  • Rowan gold member
    April 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This filled me with peace, and softest essence of being at the beach. sigh. Nice.

1 - 6 of 6