unborn.

i tiptoed
across
filthy floorboards.
(your hands waited
to capture mine
from the other side of the room.
the other side of the
bed.)

you were
overdosing
on some pills and
jerking your chin up
whispering
"come on hannah"

"just come on"

once upon
a sexstained bedsheet
you, a boy,
dragged me down
a rabbithole.

my eyelashes
felt heavy, tipped
with the gold bits i saw in your
irises'
you smuggled a smile
handed me a bottle
told me
to just
take
tiny sips
and watched me

shrink.

(i am under the carpets and
under your hips again
wishing you'd wear the necklace i gave you and
hoping tomorrow you'd choose me
over her
and knowing that
there is no winning in stealing someone's man
only tying
and losing
and crying wishing you weren't so
malleable.)