I go there often to replace regrets
with fondly wished for deeds,
when spirit heroic in me lies
diminshed nearly beyond recall;
when I could never imagine defeat
when survival had the nick in time
and life granting ingenuity
was a stepping stone across a gurgling brook;
for this is a cauldron more true
to waking world; where tests
are not stern but subtle
not dramatic but soft
a whisper in sleepy haze
urging a moment to find itself.
For I would win the chariot race,
leap chasms to satin moon
find my fresh formed wings
beneath low mountain clouds
glide to earth as a feather
on a breeze,
for I have done all of these
and have seen cruel winter winds.
A contest entry
- Echo by Pamela A Lamppa.
5250 points, ended April 7, 2008, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I like the sound of your voice in this poem...
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"not dramatic but soft
a whisper in sleepy haze
urging a moment to find itself."
Oh, I loved that line. It made me think how I should listen more and speak less.
Beautiful echoes here.
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An echo from the soul is written within these words, your last lines firming its place and validity.
A wonderful entry, deeply introspective and mature. You have handled the prompts well within this beauty.
"find my fresh formed wings
beneath low mountain clouds
glide to earth as a feather
on a breeze, "
GASP! I could SEE an echo. I am honored to have this beautiful write in this contest. Thank you so much. Just what I was looking for.
Well done poet - best of luck in the contest. ~Pamela
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"when i could never imagine defeat"
When I - need to capitalize I. Plenty of time to correct this little teeny typo before the contest close. I hate when that happens! I will be back to read the rest of what I am seeing as a gem of an entry.
~Pamela
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This was so beautiful!!! I really loved this piece.. The flow in your words just take you to a place so beautiful..
"For I would win the chariot race,
leap chasms to satin moon
find my fresh formed wings
beneath low mountain clouds
glide to earth as a feather
on a breeze, "
My favorite part for some reason...
Great write and best wishes to you my friend in this contest!!
Peace to you, Jetleena
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I love the play between the human and the super-human; the reality, and the dream; the tangible and the visionary.
This is definitely QW:
for this is a cauldron more true
to waking world; when tests
are not stern but subtle
not dramatic but soft
as a whisper in sleepy haze
urging a moment to find itself.
--Such amazing, gentle revelation of truth.The resolution in the last two lines is so perfect. It speaks, for one, of the the strength of a determined spirit in the midst of adversity, whether harsh or subtle.
A really remarkable statement.
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