Blood gushing,
Black cold-blood,
Who would care if she's gone? ,
For sure not me,
they're better of without her,
All they need is her heart,
Her broken heart,
Blood pouring,
She wouldn't mind,
If they took it,
She doesn't care,
I am her,
She is me,
Together we're one,
And that still won't stop them,
Cause all they want is her,
Broken Heart...
Are you like me?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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wow. i love this. great emotion.
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Whoa.. so much raw, dark emotion... you are great at writing emotion which shows that all your poetry is from the heart. Again, I would recommend taking out the commas. Maybe a different background too, as this one makes the poem hard to read.
I read your page and we're more alike than I thought... I used to be in a similar state of depression, except for I didn't think everyone hated me, only that I could never fit in. I was always different, and didn't have many friends. Now, I do, but I may move again and lose it all... if you only knew, but at this moment I feel so much empathy for you... -
wow it was great! very deep and somewhat dark..you really hit your inner emotions pretty hard here you portrayed them in it very well though! love it!
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Dark thoughts...I'm glad you can pen them, it can be very therapeutic. Well written and direct.
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Nicely written...so dark while so true..I can relate. Great piece!
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I like the transition between 1st and 3rd person an meaningful poem that is only just breaking the surface look deep in yourself and try to relate yourself to things u see.. giv it a go see wat u come up with
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wow this is really deep and really good. I thought you envied me. i envy you this is very great. i know how you feel because that is how i used to feel. very awesome poem keep written!
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wow
when i was reading this it struck me deep inside.. sometimes i cant put it into words but this is just how i used to feel. some parts are off rhythm, but its very good!
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