light shadows and dark beams
coalesce round the edges
a dreary cabin rests atop the screams
a foot into my door the darkness wedges
still quiet of the night does often lie
when dreams and memories surface again
thinking all is well the trees may sigh
no longer peaceful is my shaded glen
silent battle rages in the night
and in my bed i twist and turn in pain
then in my window seeps the pale dawn light
and with its presence is the nightmare slain.
Author notes
Written December 9th, 2003
*For Contest*
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Fully of Imagery. i do like the line of how the dawn slays the nightmare as some other people have said. Best of Luck
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Intriguing imagery. I like the part where dawn slays the nightmare. The nightmare itself is left ambiguous, leaving the reader to imagine his/her own scenario. Good job.
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Very nice job on this. I like it. It had really great wording. Great job. Thanks for entering d best of luck to you in my contest my dear.
~~~Vampy~~~ -
great wording here.I am not sure if you ever read the lyrics to silent lucidity by Queensryche...but this poem makes me think of that song...one of my favorites.Great flow and the wording is astounding.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
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Very good poem. good visual. u seem to be a hopless romantic, and so am i. tho ask anyone, i will never admit it. i dress in baggy clothes and act like such a boy sumtimes. lol. and i am opposed to love, but i do love being ROMANTIC. lol. just between u and me. lol. i luv this poem. great imagery, u will go places with ur writing. -Thorn
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I like the way this poem darts and dips and dives - just like a real dream and some nice gothic imagery to go with the nightmare feel.
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Super
I really like this poem, I think what really hit me the most would be "A foot into my door the darkness wedges. It was really quite wonderful. "No logner peaceful is my shaded glen" your spirit's kind of give up eh? I know how it feels to fight the battle of the soul It was a very good right and I loved it GREAT job keep writing I look forward to reading more. -
oh, wow. nice! you made a poem and sounded smart all in one. the one-two punch.
this is so cool..you really captured the feeling of nightmares... -
I like that word "coalesce". I don't think people use it enough. I'll definitely try to slip it into my next few writes!!
Enjoyed reading this.
Thanks for sharing.
Damian. -
i like this, it a good description of what a nightmare feels like. I think everyone can relate to it to a certain extent because evryone has nightmares at some point in their lives
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o wow your poem really caught my eye...beacause my sis's log in name is rainmaker18 and yours is rainwalker..not the same...but hey leave me alone...anyways i agree with trumpetfalcon you use an awesome vocabulary in this...i really enjoyed it a lot...awesome write...best of luck in the contest!
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What a wonderful vocabulary you have! The imagery is fantastic - makes me look over my shoulder
Ok, fine, it doesn't. But if I scared easily, this definitly would do it 
Short and sweet . . . well, not sweet, but you know whaty I mean! I don't think it would do the poem good if it were any longer. Great job, and good luck in the contest 
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Great write...Keep penning...
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