There are poems
out there,
for the sons of Mohamed,
jailed.
But that does not change
the machine guns
the barbed wire
and the call to prayer.
There are poems
painted round the bullet's scars
on the walls
of Bagdad's slums.
But that doesn't change the hate
growing like a weed
near the cities' gates.
They say:
We are dying America.
We are dying America.
Is it too soon,
to be so late?
Author notes
Written December 9th, 2003
In a list
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oh. yes.
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I promoted this here -- 6 reads no comments. Consider the reaction of at the other place. When you do this stuff -- and you've done it often, well, you are Lute. I'm thankful for that and for this because yes, Iraq, lingers....
Where you be? -
ouch
i thought this poem was basically flawless.
that's something i never say.
fuckin' blew me away.
i have a poem called desert storm, it's about people and tv's and bombs and it makes your poem true 130982309283 times.
i'd like you to read it if you ever stumble onto my page.
phenomenal. -
Beautiful. Compassionate without being mushy. Stern without being harsh.
Every line, every last line.
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And "so this is Christmas... And what have you done? Another year over and a new one just begun..."
For some reason this poem brings this song to mind.
Very intense and emotional stirring write. That is good.
*stomps -
Damn. I have nothing anywhere coherent to say about this, just "Wow."
"There are poems
painted round the bullet's scars
on the walls
of Bagdad's slums."
For some reason... This reminded me of the poetry, and such, painted on the towers when they fell on 9/11. I'm not sure why.
Jade -
yeah yeah yeah, I showed your poem to my mate Jack the peace pusher - Jack's a leader in the Socialist Worker party so is veryyyyyyyy pretentious and picky about his poetry, but he thinks this is top notch Sir, top notch.
Waheyyyyy. -
Nice and thoughtful, raising a question--gently. Real groovy for something a bit political!
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Well my friend,
You have captured the truth in very few words. The true essence of a poetic mind lends itself to a world of words that depict the realities of life. Be it death, war, or the ability to look far beyond everything. This is a very thought provoking poem. You have given me much to think on, and inspired my pen to address the very issues you pen so well. I have missed your words and I am glad to be back in the midst of such talent. Thanks for sharing.
Much Love,
Renee
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very good
I would like to think that this poem transcends war to show the emotions of poetry and culture live on regardless. Or perhaps even flurishes because.
Well done.
John -
I'm not gonna get into politics here because I don't think that was the idea when penning this. Spoken with the voice of humanity rather than an American so I'll just say it's well written
and very thought provoking. You da man
Desiree
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Great write...I liked how you strung several sparky phrases together to form a larger picture...it reminded me of those paintings made up of lots of little dots. I think it's called pointillism...or something. Phrases like 'that doesn't change the machine guns, the barbed wire, the call to prayer' and 'the bullet's scars' really stood out.
This was a very powerful piece...I really liked the ending as well. Although I had to read it a couple of times before I got it, I must admit. Great stuff. -
The poems I write just make me feel sorry for myself when there's nothing to be sorry about, on the underground in London there's this guy who walks up and down the trains giving out little poem books and most people chuck them on the floor you know. When we went on one of the peace rallies last year he gave us one written by a ten year old boy from Iraq - that didn't feel sorry for himself, that felt sorry for everyone. It wasn't about "his" country and "his" people, it was just about people. I like that, blood doesn't come from the ground - I mean, it's not your fault you're American - it's just where your Mum popped you out, it's not my fault I'm English - it's just the way things are. I can't see how people can be proud of flags, or value a flag over other people - I don't get it - it's just where we were born or something. I can't understand why people can be proud of flags but I do understand how they might be ashamed or disappointed with them. This is a very powerful poem, putting something you care about against something you care more about - poems against people - they're both important but the people more and that shows and shows and shows.
Peopleism more than Patriotism, because Patriotism is so primative.
The last two lines on the poem are a bit of a headfuck but I think I've worked it out a bit. Very brilliant yep. -
The Peace Palace was destroyed
by Tomahawks that loudly chopped;
searing through eerie silence
with hatred.
The missiles scream like a woman
in the pangs of labor; giving birth to
massive fireballs that dance
as they deliver destruction.
Contiguous plumes of blazing debris
twist toward the sky through streets
shrouded in smoke,
while sirens scream warnings,
and mothers scream
in fear for their children,
and children scream for their mothers
to make the rain of hatred stop.
Scattered glass and broken bricks
will be all that remain.
And from those ruins will shoot
an even stronger hate.
I wrote this back in February or March. It seems to go with yours.
Edited on Dec 10, 4:11 because ''. -
Awse, I do like a bit of political spice to get things rolling... You do this effectively and with haunting truth... Good work!
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very thought provoking poem, provocative questions. I believe a
true poet has to make social statements and address spiritual
issues to be truly well-rounded and productive. but that's just me.
well, edward hirsch feels that way too.
good poem, lute. well written, concise, and compassionate. -
A very wise poem here- very simple but carrying a universal message.
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excellent
This poem was a bit dark.yet at the ending it gives light ..for example; when others get a glimpse of this write..they will think perhaps the "question" would make one be a bit more polite to the person next to them..Your poem made me think not only of what you wrote but also other things going on in todays society..Well Done and thanks for sharing..
~Lori -
Powerful, and Amazing write
Take care,
Karen
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hmmm...this was passionate...resonant...but i'm not sure i understand it correctly....you are american, no?
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Uhm. Wow. This really did send a chill up my spine, especially ith your efoortlessly flowing words. COngratulations on having such a wonderful write, and thanks for sharing this piece!
-Angie- -
Lute you simply amaze me with your words, how you can go from thought to thought and make us think as well. Take care, Lissa
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Oh, I love it when you get all serious like this... very powerful statements, strong words and presentation.
Excellent poem,
~ Wendy -
Very good point, is it too late to be soon or soon to be too late.
Good one. -
Like the holocaust, vietnam, croatia etc. etc. etc. the world is only shocked by BIG numbers... and is shocked only after long after there was time to do anything and after the seeds of another generation of hatred have firmly been planted.
Complex subject, you've touched the tip of the ice-berg here. Another million poems and you might cover the whole subject, including everybody's view.
Kyla -
I love the format...the repetition, the questions. Particularly like the line 'painted round the bullet's scars'. And the absence of over-the-top sentimentality when writing about an emotional subject. Nice!
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Good
This is a provacotive poem and you do well by ending by posing a question Is it too soon,to be so late? The answer to which i dont know but you have definatly got me thinking about it. Good Job. -
Excellent sentiment, truthful and personal, I shall look forward to reading more of yours
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And now there are poems painted in our hearts, of love and loss and warfare...
Are we dying humanity? Have you read of Easter Island? It's history is an interesting parable for our society. And whatever way you view the parable, the facts about Easter Island are still the same, an entire society wiped themselves out, with their anger, their obsession, and their rivalry. Oh almost... a small band survived, and found a peacable way to live - and then western culture touched them and finished them off.
Edited on Dec 09, 4:52 because ''. -
This is icy and introspective. Written very well. Love the succinct form, hard to tell where you stand. Mostly the whole thing is sad.
Red
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