Little memories, of a present now past
lost time, washed away by stinging rain
Shadows blot out the sun, blocking the peaceful light
Leaving me alone, to think of hierarchical evils
Listening to the thump of my heart,insidious hands of the shadows
Little devil sits before me, eater of my little heart
Called forth from the inferno, just to end my sanity
Perhaps the past I knew has come back for me,to rend me
No glint of light between the clouds, No sound 'cept the hiss of the underworld
Perhaps happy to anticipate, But not to me
The keeper of the black land,lets slip his hunting hounds
Panic stricken,flailing madly with my mind
But there is no escape, lick my fingers in fear
Waiting for the rip to come,The end of my entity
Slipping to the keepers hands, stumbling forward
To my knees I fall, and then i am torn
Last look at the moon, At the stars and ether
Back to the fetus
Author notes
if you dont get the title.... Reincarnation
A contest entry
- Whatever Your Heart Desires by xxhoopstar21xx.
300 points, ended June 8, 2008, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - HM winners or Metaphorical poems by Chocoholic156.
550 points, ended September 21, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Read and Comment PLZ!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I loved this poem, I was a little confused through this poem, but at the end I was glad that you explained teh Reincarnantion part. My favorite parts:
Shadows blot out the sun, blocking the peaceful light
That was my favorite, this line could be fixed:
Last look at the moon, At the stars and ether
I think that "ether" is supposed to be "either".
This was a very good poem, you did a wonderful job with the flow and with your word choice. Good job, and keep writing!
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actually ether, is supposed to be AEther, lmao thanks for showing me that!
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wow tyhis is really good
god bless
love cassie -
This was very well written. I enjoyed reading it very much. Nice write!
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i love it. great write kaape up the great wwork
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pretty neat. i liked your wording and the flow was grat. but just one thing...te commas got to me. use something else for change :;.- or a line break. but that is all the critisms i have.
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Let me start off by saying: excellent work. It truly is a great work of art. ^.^
On the topic of language, this is definitely a five-star example of vocabulary use in freeverse. The words strike the reader, or at least they did me. ^_^ You even singularized "'cept" to make the flow smoother for that line. T'was awesome.
Also, you can tell this is a dark write; you certainly set the tone for it, whether just through the words or the way that you used them. Either way, it got the point across easily...a good quality for a poem to have.
Again, great job here! Thanks for sharing; keep up the good work! ^.^
--Flare
o}--{=======>
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