tú te hinchas entre mis años
como una garrapata atiborrada de sangre,
y yo, el animal malsano,
descendo a la tierra,
llena del agitando hueco
de ti.
contigo soy
gusano sin ojos;
y tú,
helminto que se amadrigado
en las entrañas, espera tu
retirada de la matriz arada.
no pensé ser
tumba por los vividos,
y él no pensó vivir en tumbas
por siempre, abajo el calor abrasador
de la tierra de andalucía
no pensé estar enferma con deseo
para el hombre que perdí,
o ser domicilio, hundido en desuso
alimentando las ratas y los gusanos
en las esquinas húmedas de mi cuerpo
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you swell between my years
like a tick gorged with blood,
and i, the sickened animal,
sink to earth,
stuffed with the hollow churning
of you.
with you i am
a worm without eyes;
and you, a parasite burrowed
in my bowels, awaiting expulsion
from my untilled womb.
i never meant
to be a tomb for the living,
and he never meant
to live in tombs, forever
beneath the sweltering heat
of andalusian dirt
and i never meant to be sick with want
for the man i lost,
or to be a home, sagging in disuse,
nurturing rats and worms
in damp corners of my body
Author notes
ana wants an abortion, but it's too late.
i'm not a native spanish speaker, so if there are any mistakes, let me know. i stole 'untilled womb' from shakespeare. bite me.
-hiraeth
In a list
A contest entry
- Contemporary or contrary (anything goes) by JWGoethe.
1000 points, ended April 24, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
still a bit shaky, so PLEASE leave a constructive comment!
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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This is really good. The descriptions and details here are really wonderful. Great write and thanks for entering.
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thank you for entering! a great poem! I loved how you put it in Spanish too...(still learning the language though) you did a great job and good luck!
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"like a tick gorged with blood"
as a symbol in this poem i associate with it the meanings: constraint of menstrual blood, pestilence, parasite
for unwanted pregnancy? perfect.
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Wow this is wonderfully written and very believable
I can tell the issue means a lot to you even though you are not the speaker. I really like all the raw, brutal imagery in this.. the sickened animal, the worms, the tomb bit... And the last line is just... I have no words 
I love Spanish, by the way. But you seem to have a vocabulary far richer than mine, so with this one I'm thankful for the English translation
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This was a touching and moving work. Great images, flow, everything. I must admit, the sadness it brought to me was a bit disturbing, but that is some of the most fertile creative ground, and you tilled it well. Excellent.
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I have no real criticism to leave on the form. It was well done. Thank you for the entry.
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I really liked this. Between the subject and the bi-lingual approach, it was very welcome, very interesting. Art from a stormy place. Well done.
. Rewarded 4
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it was okay
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honestily ... i didnt like it very much ... peaoplee wanna read about real things ... this jsut seams like a bunch of fake frowns and just stuff that isnt real .. just i think you should use differinte word to make it sound like it actully came from the heart. and its actully a subject you care about and have honestily for .. not jsut a bunch of fake sentances.
~~HollyLeanne
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It is real and is very personal to me. And what different word? Do you care to elabourate where, how, etc? Not everything "from the heart" has to sound like "omg he duznt luv mi / ima slyt mi wryst / end drink my BLUDZ3!!£$£!".
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lol heres my constructive omment
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WOW - awesome wording!! I'm so glad you did an English translation or I would have missed this - and I was very impressed with it.
Outstanding!
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Bargh! Why does no one comment this brilliant stuff?!
I could not find anything wrong with this. You have such a way of creating beautiful, somewhat disturbing imagery. The flow is perfect, too. Every line break is placed perfectly. The only thing I can think of was this...
Line 5/6- There are two "of"s there, and it kind of disrupted the flow a bit. Since this is so short, the repitition can't fit. Every word needs to stand on it's own. Gah, I don't know. Do I make any sense? I don't have any suggestions for it, though.
The ending didn't really seem to conclude the poem, but it fit the piece well. Seems like you just faded off with one last somber line. Boo, I suck at commenting today
But yeah! You should not be looking for critiques, you barely ever need them!
♥ yooh, darlin', good luck in the contests
Jeanette*~
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It's not brilliant, but hey, it's probably better than 90% of the shit on here. And I like to think that no one leaves constructive comments cos they're all off slitting their wrists and drowning in their bathtubs, and then I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
OH NOES, I HAVE "OF" DISEASE! I figured that much! There has to be a synonym for "full of," if I can find one in Spanish... oh, hell, it doesn't have to be a direct translation.
It's probably not done, either. You ever feel that you just don't want to continue something cos it's personal and you don't want to reveal much more? Yeh. -
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It is brilliant, you jus' a hoe! (kidding).
No, they're not all slitting their wrists and drowning in bathtubs, they're flocking here and writing the most digracing and gag-reflexing poetry of the century/ies. Sorry, mini-rant!
Hmmm, I thought "with" but that sounds awkward XD
and ooh, I know that feeling all too well. To be honest, I really really don't think you should add on. It's so lovely with that last line. ALTHOUGH, you could change my mind with more rawkin' lines
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Sometimes I wish they'd just commit suicide already, as mean as that is. They're wasting our oxygen and putting strain on the poor earth. By the way, have you ever seen Idiocracy? Awesome movie; my ex and I watched it at our people-hating party. If you didn't live so far away I'd totally invite you to the next one, whenever that is. Stuffed/fattened/teeming with? Fucking goddamned synonyms.
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