Once you accept him in your heart
Jesus is more than a savior
there will be filth no more
He is a cleanser of the soul
These worldly duties are just our daily chores
He teaches us to look beyond the core,
to hold a grudge against our enemies no more
He was sent by our heavenly father
to teach God's real plan
No one else has stepped foot on this earth through a virgin
not another soul in all the land
That's how you know there is none that compare to Him,
the ONE without sin.
He taught us to Glorify our Heavenly Father
even though he was being slaughtered
What was's man's reason?
When he died on that cross
He carried man's sins
cause he was treated like a man that committed the worst things,
in between two thieves
He died for all of mankind
It was through Him that we were granted access to the heavenly gates
Before that Dark was Human fate....
A contest entry
- Jesus Beyond Savior by melphleg.
850 points, ended April 19, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
ALL Glory be to God for sending his son to die for my sins.
Comments
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First, you do meet the criteria of the contest. This poem covers things that Jesus does beyond saving. The rhyme at the beginning is good, but then abandoned after that.
There are some grammatical errors. "comparing" s/b "compared" or "none" s/b "no" but "none comparing" doesn't work.
"worst-est" is not a word.
Some of the flow is off. Some lines are far too lengthy. You have the right idea, but it needs work in my opinion. -
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thanks for your honesty
I have edited it, please let me know what you think.
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