I sailed a purple ship
Across a cobalt sea,
with sails of gleaming white
prow adorned by majesty...
Big open outstretched hand, it was
presenting all before...
as my ship sailed forward
towards mysterious shore.
Rigging made of feelings
sail just my blank page,
propelling wind of passion
facing calm and stormy rage.
The hold it was now empty
of cargo there to trade,
but excitement there was plenty
as all bad memory fades.
I named my ship 'Good-Hearted'
and destiny estranged,
Free spirit blew us faithfully
yet knowingly arranged.
Ahead was set with much resolve
in trust and sturdy frame,
sure that I could smell the gold
in voyage without blame.
Joyful in my Captaincy
with spy glass and a smoke,
we crashed through many waves
until the sea began to joke.
"What is it that you're looking for
there's nothing here to find,
you know I'm all around you
you're just travelling in your mind."
I said it was for pleasure
and not made small for me,
if you persist in joking then...
I'll just dream another sea!
So then my 'Hand' twiddled finger
a sign to turn about,
not maniacally but gleefully
and free of any doubt.
In a list
A contest entry
- Your Lucid Dream by Thanatos.
300 points, ended April 27, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want by Maximum.
600 points, ended August 15, 307 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by Midnight-x-Rose.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Welcome any sincere responses.
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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When's that ship sailing this way, Captain?
X
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Very soon my love
X X X
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A purple ship...interesting by its color alone And the brilliance of the metaphors...This was not only fun to read and play in my own imagination, it sent my thoughts and emotions on the path seeking the divine...Well composed. Peace, Rhonda
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This is not bad ...
your English is still a bit stilted but it works. I like this part the best:
"What is it that you're looking for
there's nothing here to find,
you know I'm all around you
you're just travelling in your mind."
the trend in poetry nowadays seems to be towards English that sounds like computer speak, with the articles cut out and mostly pared down to the bare bones. I am not a fan of such writing, and when I get a submission for Sonnetto Poesia that's written like that, I "just say no".
Anyway, good job in the main.
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Thank you. I think I agree with you. I did lean much the other way not so long ago, with many an 'it', 'of' and 'the' etc. and have been trying to find my way in this. I am coming to the conclusion that balance is the key, as is most often the case, and I can see now where a little editing wouldn't go amiss. Your help much appreciated. Sol
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I liked this. You usted fantastic imagery, and this was one of kind. Loved the rhyme too. Thanks!
BabyLove--x -
I want to be with you on that boat S...sounds like fun!!
lol ;-D
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This is a wonderful write Sol, your use of imagery has captured a beautifully fantastical dream-like quality, I was temporarily lost in my imagination... the flow was flawless and after not quite knowing what to expect from the title - i was gripped!
All the best in the contest, this write deserves some serious recognition
Sam
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Praise indeed! Thanks very very much Sam. Sol
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i liked the idea of dreaming another sea
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First, I like that I can almost hear your accent in reading this. Often, even in poetry by brits (being an anglophile I read several
) I find that the accent can be lost in the language.
Second, this is such a nice dream, really, and I like the meter you kept throughout.
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Outstanding
I loved it, great imagery, great flow of words. Great piece of work.
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the perfect childhood fantasy! reminds me of my brothers and me on a bunkbed ship in the bedroom as kids!
'you know I'm all around you
your just travelling in your mind'
seems to reflect the rational element of the adult, while the child merely responds with...
'I'll just dream another sea'
if only we could remember that life is full of endless possibilities when taken more lightly. Dream on!!
. Rewarded 8
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This was really amazing.. The ryhme was perfect and the flow in your words just created a great write..
Well done and good luck!
Peace to you, Jetleena
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This is such a wonderful write. I loved the rhyme and flow of this, it was so perfect. You have done so well here, all the best for the contest.
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I was pleasantly surprised by what I found when I clicked on this poem. A pleasant trip back many years to childhood stories and fantasies. You held a nice rhythm throughout and kept me entertained to the final word.
Very nicely captured images and a great story. Well Done!!
Margaret
. Rewarded 6
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I'm imagining you with your hand upon the steering wheel of your ship all dressed up 'Captain Jack Sparrow' style.
Mystical and magical and full of dreams once again.
I love your rhyming poems. Thanks for the adventure.
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And they ate with runcible spoons and sailed in pea-green boats.... this is very Edward Lear-ish yet it has a magical and mystical quality to it...
it sounds good too, and the rhythm is very wave-like... i hate to say this, - ahem ... maybe i'm getting to like rhyme
[i know you'll giggle at that]
i'll be shot at dawn..... ohh aye, it is dawning and there are stirrings here of staff and clients alike...
i cannot wait for my bed...
damned good piece
G.x
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