Each string, a story,
hidden in a sound
so flat, so sharp
-so perfect-
to music’s ears [believers]
He moves, a graceful bird,
soars through the black marks
with no distraction
-the world is at peace-
the music releases
each emotion [a note]
a single word
to the lyrics of life.
A crescendo [climax]
to a day, a song,
decrescendo into sleep
softly snores [beautiful]
Author notes
For Poetry Project
Picture:
http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m130/ChasexCHAOS/200349017-001.jpg
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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The flow was great, yes. But I just didn't care much for all of your brackets. I personally don't think they should be used *that often* in a poem, but more as like, a little tidbit to make something sweeter.
"The lyrics of life" reeked cliche to me, while just a line or two before, the "black marks without distraction" was an AMAZING image.
I know you're just getting back on your feet with poetry, but you seem to be heading the right way.
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I have to agree with Tyler... the flow is especially really good here Meg. It just rolled beautifully off the tongue and connected so well.
Loved the idea of connecting the idea of a "peaceful" bird with peaceful music... mares a very serene image.
Music is such a big part of your life! Glad to even hear it in your poetry! Best of luck to you in the contest Meg.
Ryan.
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very smooth flow. lovely.
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thanks Ty... your opinion is one that I really respect because you're so honest... I'm flattered you liked it. Thanks. Meg
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Incredible
I really love the way you wrote this poem. its so beautiful & admiringly too. any ways quite a lovly poem from ya Sweets. I just really enjoy your overall portrayal to this poem. your words are so smooth & quite beautiful that really makes this an attractive poem. any ways nice work and keep up the good work
Daddy
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awesome
great dicriptives!
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