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Disregard

No matter the idolized statues or customs
You can't justify the mistakes

Indulgence
Penetrating warnings and the sore afflicted mind core
Beautiful faces and the bullseye on my chest
Standard patterns of love and loathe
You functional tools, you atmosphere's sin
Laughing at me with standardized sloth
But the glasses that break your routines
The art I draw with pink vomit and black blood
Nothing but misunderstood symphonies
Waiting for the posthumous prizes

No matter if there's a rotting liver
Or the withered wings of the dragonfly
Maggots among your flesh
Or sleazy vocabulary, abused against your ears
How could I wither love poems that way?
How did I learn to say "I love you" with filth?
But no matter how; your limited brain can't read mine
Stupidity and the obvious hints always saving you

Your judgment lies beneath the remains of human monotony
No contrasts allowed in your little, selfish world
Creativity interrupted or encouraged by the mistakes of genes
But the forests of my deep core, the depth of the thorned roses
Virginal for your experiences
I lick my own love and play with your mind
I tie your brains in a beautiful butterfly knot
And your true faces can't hide beyond my empty eyes' sight
You'll never tell me a story when I'm on your lap
But the slime around your body might warm you up

Mistaken
Destroyed
But still awake and ready
With my avatar of pride
My own disease

Author notes

I myself am an autistic person (Specifically, an Asperger syndrome's sufferer). This mental affection is supposed to limit my own mental capabilities such as my communication skills and what not while rising other skills I might have. However, in my case, the risen skills were the language ones. Maybe I can't write poetry as well as 80% of the people in this site do, but my poetry features some weird stuff like extremely heavy metaphors, a deeper vocabulary than usual (Unless I'm rhyming) or twisted, mixed meanings of the words. I'm sorry I couldn't write better for this as I'm not feeling really inspired now, but this is my pride, the disease which disallows and allows me to write.
I might want to add something, yes... and it's about how do we, the Asperger's victims, suffer from the rejection of society due to our own lack of empathy and what not. I'm not surprised the WikiPedia article about the disease features some lines talking about frustration when it comes to the point of relationships between us and standards. If you want to see more raw examples, you can take into account that most nerds and geeks, otakus, hikikomoris and others suffer from the same condition. We're misunderstood, sometimes because we're awfully bold and true, without thinking about the concerning circumstances, but we're still here.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Fay
    July 12
    Edit | Reply
    your a very brave person, theres a very close friend of my family that has asburgers(sp). dont ever let people tell you your less. you write beautiful in my opion. thank you so very much for entering my conest and i hope things are going good for you in your life. good luck in the contest.


  • NotAMolly
    April 25
    Edit | Reply
    This woeld can be awfully harsh and critical, great job! tnxs for entering!


  • individuality gold member
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    ha at limits i feel; the same though never been diagnosed i think i am that way because of my lifestyle.


  • Salty Hibiscus gold member
    March 22
    Edit | Reply
    wow. what a read it was. i work with mental ill deaf adults. it is tough but rewarding experience for me. i also have a disorder. i can relate to your poem very much - your choice of words and poetic devices is quite vivid and blunt. thank you for sharing your great work. congrats on well-deserving silver cup.


  • kareneisenlord gold member
    January 22

    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding!

    I absolutely loved this write. So very raw and the metaphors are amazing. You really expressed yourself well here; and I felt the frustration when it comes to relationships and communication. I so related to that myself. Thank you for sharing!


  • tawk gold member
    January 17
    Edit | Reply
    You truly are an amazing poet and person. I used to work with autistic children each one stole a piece of my heart and will always remain there. Yes autism is so understood by society and people need to educate theirselves. Don't be so hard on yourself you are such an amazing person, thanks for sharing a piece of yourself. Hugs Theresa


  • StoneGypsy
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    amazing! great work! my brother was autistic but killed him self... its sad, but great work! its great read the one in the finallist list! its amazing! not that yours isn't this is amazing!


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    September 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful. Autism is such an odd defect, you have really captured it, I know it's from personal experience, but it's a rare experience because most people I know with it don't really express any kind of emotion. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper


  • miasma
    April 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great...
    I'm speechless, It was so good...
    Tying brains into knots?
    I love it, great, great.
    I'm going to go look at your other poems now.


  • Mirthryl
    April 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent "standard patterns of love and loathe" (especially combined with the Author note on "us and standards"). Again in "standardized sloth". Yes, the things folks don't have to work at (empathizing, communication skills, etc) they seldom appreciate. Interesting "the obvious hints always saving you." Storms are difficult to avoid when you have no reliable forecast. "Mistaken" can be a daily routine of misinterpretation. And so insightful, your "my avatar of pride my own disease." Pride's destructive capacity is inherent in most of us.

    I love your description in your Author note, "we're awfully bold and true, without thinking about the concerning circumstances." My interactions with autistic children certainly are easier because of such honesty, when communication is sufficient to convey it.

  • Labefaction
    April 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. You know, I think your author's notes are too hard on yourself. Personally, I would have liked the poem better not having read them, because I think it stands on its own as a beautiful piece, very emotional, and it gets across what I think you wanted to express without the explanation. Great! Thank you for entering!


  • genevieve3
    April 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ahh yes,disregard the desiese, keep the person!


  • genevieve3
    April 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Im glad your here, as I am glad to have read your work. U r not strange to me, simply a stranger. You clearly have talent unsurpassed, I am amazed by your words, Thank you again for enlightening my day.
    Not every day will be so dark, the yellow rays of sunshine will folw in and gone will be the empty gray that fills you with hate. Blessed be!

1 - 14 of 14