"I'll fucking kill you!" he screamed
as I picked at an irritating spot
to the left of my right eyebrow
it wasn't fair at all
I mean what a time to be mugged
the inconvenience of it
it wasn't that I was unafraid
I mean these spots can be lethal
if left to fester untended
I longed to tell him about my spot
but he was just so aggressive,
was even prepared to ask his advice
I wanted to tell him about death
how he couldn't kill me
any more than politicians' truths
any more than the apathy of people
who look on as children starve
and dwindling forests are ravaged
I was sure he would understand
was going to explain how it all began
I mean it was a small spot at first
but he panicked and ran.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
-
interesting write here. Deffniatly more to it than the story, the political, and natural world seeping into this.
-
Humorous: yes. Critical of our inability to engage or even tolerate serious subjects: even more.
Like the mugger, most of us just want to run away from anything more serious than a personal blemish. (We would ignore those as well, but mirrors and acquaintances are unavoidable.)
-
I think you wrote this marvelously. It is very clervely written and I enjoyed reading it.
-
This is a clever piece of work. It kind of puts a fresh perspective on things for a while. The mugger was a minor threat compared to that of the little spot that so preoccupied the speaker. How the poor fellow must have felt, being all but ignored by his intended victim. It would be most disconcerting.
Even the reader is drawn to the speaker's potential illness over the immediate threat.
I loved the easy flow and format used here.
-
wow
You really freaked him out, huh. Cool.
-
This is really cool. I don't quit get all of it yet, but i'll read it a few more times and maybe it'll sink in. lol Other wise i think it's a great write. Keep it up. ^-^
-
This is quite profound. I found the premise interesting.
-
very interesting write and story. The truths of this world. Great imegery here, told like a story i felt like i was there.
-
I feel like I've been in this spot... except I wasn't being mugged. Maybe I'm wrong but I see a deep thought being missed by one mans sudden impulse. ha ha This is a poem I could just keep thinking about, I love that, good job!
-
That was awesome. From what I know of you, I imagine that is exactly how you would handle such a situation.
I really can't describe what it is about this poem I like so much...it's just a pleasure to read and think about. As always, a warlock of words
-
I was sure he would understand
was going to explain how it all began
I mean it was a small spot at first
well good 4 u he raan
) that's a cool write my friend
-
intresting...
-
This is good, makes me wonder if nothing - I'm thinking you're still editing?
I mean: untended is not a word - that or my vocab is poor..
Never ♥
Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
