Himbledy-Jig the whistle pig
lived in a hole in the ground.
early one day, late in May,
he came out and looked around.
he saw all the tourists there, looking for bears,
and counted them all; quite a bunch!
then he said with a grin as he licked at his chin,
" I think I'll go get me some lunch!"
he waddled his way with a confident sway
to the boardwalk where tourists lined up
watching Old Faithful play with a blast of hot spray,
and he drank from a mans coffee cup.
"Look at that! he's so cute! he climbed up on my boot!"
said the tourists who reached for their sacks.
"he looks hungry! lets feed him! lets pet him and greet him."
and Himbledy smiled like a cat.
came the ranger that way,who chased them away
to the tune of a few hundred bucks
and Himbledy crept off the boardwalk and wept
for he knew he was just out of luck.
"rodents," the ranger said, "shouldn't take the tourists bread
and Himbledy, you should slow down!
you eat way too much marshmallow and such.
you've grown very fat and round!
you're losing your hair! your half bald up there!
all the girl piggies now point and tease!
and if you don't stop, all your fur's gonna drop
and in wintertime, you'll surely freeze!"
and Himbledy-Jig the whistle pig
slumped to the ground with a sigh.
"i don't understand. what the matter, oh man
you eat that stuff, why can't I?"
Author notes
Written December 8th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Moxie rules (contest) by Mari Goes.
400 points, ended January 12, 2005, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Cute! I liked the way it began and I smiled all the way through. Good job. Write on, poet.
-
This is very cute, a good story, and an excellent point. I admire your rhymes, you have kept the scheme consistently.
Apostrophes seem to confuse a lot of people. I think you have some contractions which need them.
-
consider this one withdrawn. i have a better one instead
-
I enjoyed this poem. I like the way it flows and rhymes and the story is good too. Himbledy seems like a clever pig.
-
I must say, I enjoyed this as a children's poem - it was very amusing and humorous - however, not quite what I was looking for, with the exception of the name "Himbledy-Jig" which was very creative. I would love to see more of these types of inventive names and phrases through-out.
Moses -
edited as per your request...you're right, it IS better this way!
-
This would make a really great children's poem...I loved the lilting rhyme scheme...and the internal rhyme in particular. Each step through the story was a step enjoyed. How I read it, the meter slipped on this line ""rodents," the ranger said, "shouldn't take the tourists bread"..you can edit or leave it, it WILL NOT affect your eligibility if you do not. Also, a ballad is traditionally written 4,6, or 8 line stanzas...I do have to ask you to edit that to bring the poem under the contest guidelines. Overall..this was so fun and enjoyable. I found myself at the ending saying, "Aaawwhhh...well why can't he have it." Thanks for sharing! Naena
-
"This is so creative and I just loved it. How original and funny too, it made me smile. I think this would make a wonderful childs poem. To bad this was not what this contest called for but good for me because non the less this was great.
-
AMAZING. =D
Hehehe. Why don't you place this poem under the category humor? It was amazing and very, very well written, and I was simply stunned by your rhyme scheme. It's perfect! I'm sorry but I can't judge your poem because it doesn't follow the rules. Maybe you should look up on them first before you enter. :\ Great poem by the way, I'll applaud you for making me smile.
Ilse
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
