I want to break through you
like a loon’s call swims across a lake.
A contest entry
- dear......., by Nicolette.
1100 points, ended April 14, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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Lovely and soft as a rainbow’s caress
It is always interesting to see
Such emotions expressed
From the feminine side,
I would suspect from
The male side it would
Sound sorta like:
As the Loon cries out-
Wishing to engage thine heart-
~ entering thy soul~
len
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ummm...
I've been tore up with Tim...LOL...and you've been penning masterpiece after masterpiece...
this is so lovely...
you always leave me wanting more yet strangely...satisfied at the same time...
damn wild woman...this is GOOD poetry that begs to be published...
Blessings! Tammy
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OOOOOO... AND AHHHHH!!!! This one is sooo good!!!
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have you ever heard a loon's tune? have you ever seen its cute dance? do you know the evening in the wilds of Canada by a lake is made romantic with this entitie's smiling sounds, so gentle, yet so persistant?
this is such a cool poem. 'silence' can measured by its desire for gentleness and playful tenderness, and the swim, its steady movement through the giving suggestiveness of water ... the breaking through
in such a short poem, you have used sound, suggestion of sweet, almost humorous action yet attentive to the needs of the moment ... sensual, textured, lovely poetry.
yep ... you got a good one here
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breaking the silence... i like your word usage. i didnt quite follow the meaning at first but then i read it again and it finally dawned on me. i like that you were able to desribe breaking it visually with little words. thanks for the share!
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Bravo....Amazing short write..
Very powerful beauty.
Best wishes with this entry..
Blessings
~A~
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oh wow, this is magical.
the shortness of it really echoes silence.
beautiful.
<3 -
Again, so much imagery in so little! I love the way you wrote about silence here and wanting to 'break through' it. 
And a bird's call too!
~Cassie
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The cry of the Loon, very lonely, this poem is not. good luck in the contest.
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I am is awe at how you can say so much with so few words. This is lovely. - NANGALEEMA
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Picture and sound framed together with your passion to pour out something new - to scream... to break.. and to be surprised to see and to hear an answer like this one - the loon's voice reflection on the water surface.
~Sonja~
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Well some of us loons don't call, you know. I mean, I may be an idiot, but at least I'm not too loud about it. If you're going to be an effective loon, it's more attitude that matters, than vocalization. That is to say, it is not how loud you say something, but rather how monumentally stupid you sound when saying it. That's the key to being an effective loon.
Lovely work, second in a row that I have read where you manage to evoke a lovely image in a few choice words.
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As always you do so much with so little. Your word economy reaps copious rewards. All that imagery that is tied to the lake and the sound of the loon, and the subtle word play create meanings that simmer below the surface of the words, boil over in the mind, and bubble through the reader. Condensed emotion under pressure. Perfect.
CaliOkie
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the flow and imagery of this one is spectacular...very, very relatable.
excellent as always.
HENSLEY
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You write with such beauty and elegance. This was a stunning piece.
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Wow!
This is such a sharp and definitive poem. I love the confidence penned in it. A key that triggered a domino effect of emotions. Beautifully done. Best wishes in the comp my friend
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Oh, how I love the sound of loons on a moonlit night from across a lake; it gives me goose bumps. Nice write Tara, very powerful and yet soft, like the breath exhaled after a passionate kiss.
Love and peace always,
mj.
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I think I know how it feels, but you have showed how it feels in such a compact, yet huge way.
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me too...
this is lovely
al
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How did you know I like to call across a lake? Very well done poet... such strength and clarity for a short poem! Good luck in the contest!
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superb imagery... I can here the call, something quite ethereal about this the need of us... >:D<
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Very nice in it's simplicity...
Paul
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loony tunes that's his name, he lives across the lake, he is a pleasant fellow most of the time, s good poem
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Short form poetry at it's best.
Joe
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The cry of the solitude is one of the most becoming calls, beautifully captured with few words. A brilliant piece, like the call of the loon! Wonderful addition to appease us with a touch of your wonderful talent!
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I can understand this. *hug* Love, Lane
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i've never actually heard a loon's call across a lake, but i HAVE called across a lake like a loon. lolol
i really like this one
thanks for entering
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oh man. now i just want to be quiet and listen. god, i miss loons. i think i'm just going to go sit somewhere and ache a bit.
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Good thing you decided to stay. Made my day.
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Ahhh this si beautiful Tara Not even a single adjective? Amazing! Lovely poetry, Tara
- namita
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lovely
you captured so much here
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Yes! This is perfectly expressed longing with a very lucid picutre moving! Wowza you are so good!
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This is lovely poetry, Tara. It speaks to the senses this one.... it is quiet, yet the sound of a loon's call can be heard as well.... almost "shatteringly" so... (I know, not a real word that one, lolol)!
Wonderfully succinct and very poetic - and without a single adjective! I liked this.
Thank you for a lovely entry.
~ Nicolette
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Ah, nice direction with this, and very succinct.
I feel about like that about silence as well. Today especially
The day is way too slow and quiet. I can barely stay awake!
Nice work, Tara
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