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Lies

 

 

 

Like cellophane you are transparent; untruths apparent, you make me ill

Inevitably you’ll be found out, with out a doubt we are all guilty, even I

Eventually you cry in despair – claim life’s not fair; because of this web you made

So we succumb and become numb, suffering over insincere words

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Shaddow Acrostic. The first and last letters of each line spell out the word "lies".

In a list

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • crimson-river
    May 16, 2008

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    'S' for satisfactory

    i like the form...
    the most meaningful line for me was the last
    'so we succumb and become numb,suffering over insecure words.

  • Tlr051408
    May 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with the comments re your win! This is sweet. The brevity makes it more forceful, at the same time dissmissive of the liar as you underline the power of the lies. In many ways, a good (as I see it, an untrained author), representation of Lies all the way around.

  • maheo
    May 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am glad you won a trophy for this, it was truly a good piece. I think that you worded this well and the form lended itself to the overall effect.


  • mia.bell
    May 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    :|


  • nilav
    April 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful...i think every word is perfectly arranged here ...congrats on the trophy


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wowzers! Awesome words in this... depth and meaning again, and a place I think all of us have been before!

    Brilliant shadow acrostic!


  • lovemedeath
    April 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i liked it !!!! keep up the great work !!!!


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    April 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very well done. Congratulations on silver


  • ukelova
    April 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    shadow

    Hello there. Thanks for your comments on my poetry, I appreciate them.

    And thank heaps for sharing this poem. I have never come across this form before, but I like it. It must be kinda difficult to write. But I like poems like these which set boundaries and have their own set of rules.

    The subject matter, of course, is quite sad. Lies! What a wonderful world it would be if there were none!

    Have a gr8 day,
    BJ.






  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    April 4, 2008

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    The first Acrostic poem entered in this contest! I love it! I also love how you compared him to cellophane. Also the fact that you owen your mistakes and realise that you also carry some blame. Very mature and very well done! Thank you for entering my contest and all the best to you.

    Becks


  • jcat gold member
    April 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was just fantastic!!!! Not only is the form incredible but your words just sink into the soul and cause wonderful food for thought.....Simply gorgeous!!


  • RyanosaurusWrecks
    April 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    tight
    best of luck in the compo
    -ryan

1 - 17 of 17