Cut me open,
let me bleed.
Leave me alone,
and let me be.
A cowardly face,
nothing to hide.
Alive on the outside,
dying inside.
Riddled with lies,
and words unspoken.
As the world turns,
I become more broken.
Cut me open,
let me bleed.
Let me feel,
what i cannot see.
Author notes
this was quick
A contest entry
- Pain, Impulses, Hugs and Music by corrupt angel.
350 points, ended April 5, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pain by spot49.
300 points, ended May 5, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All for All (im taking all poems and no rules =) )) by Erozay.
550 points, ended May 9, 2008, 38 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Plethora by TheDemonEve.
1100 points, ended May 30, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - New Best Friend by ThePerfectEnd.
300 points, ended May 23, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lost Love and the Emo kids behind it by kenjii.
332 points, ended May 27, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm depressed, your depressed, write me something by Burnt-Angel.
300 points, ended June 17, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do u think??
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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nicely done,,,
the short lines and ryhme really worked well here,,, conveying an emotional message,,, thanks for sharing and reading my additions to this wonderfull site,,,,
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WOW what a brillent poem, so full of emotion outstandly put I loved it, it helped me feel not so alone
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Beautiful yet painful!! Absolutely excellent poem!!!!
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Holy Shit! This is one hell of a poem. you are going to be a finalist. no doubt
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I am sorry to say I feel a little dissapointed with this. It's very similar to other poems in the genre and a little too simple for my taste. You've mastered the rhyming however. A little tweaking and a lot more emotional content and this will be a good piece.
Best of luck and thanks for entering! -
Great write I liked it.
-
p.p
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Okay i like this poem
but i think it needs to be a bit longer
other than that it's perfect
BRAVO!! -
wow
deep for so few words
sad but really welldome -
--applaudes happily--
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i lovvvvvvvvvvvvve it!!!!!!!!!!!!! the pain is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i love this poem, it flows really well and i just generally love this type of poem, well written you clearly hv talent, well done x
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wow this is really rallly really powerful!!!!! i luv it u r so goodat writing!!!
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wow. this was dark, but the rhyme and the rhythm captivated me. wow........
"Alive on the outside,
dying inside."
those words just reminded me of just how an apple can look sweet and delicious on the outside, it can be rotten within. the outside is not the truth...people wear masks...ok i think u have just inspired me lol :-)
anyway, keep writing! this was terrific! -
wow..this is deep you had me wanting to finish reading this is the best poem i've read so far today..nicely written..my favorite line was
Alive on the outside,
dying inside.
good job =)
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Hm. I don't know, and I must agree with you. Quick. But, certainly not painless... I don't much enjoy these dark cut-your-wrists-open-and-bleed-all-over-the-floor type of writes. They are just unappealing, and most of them just aren't written good.
=/ Sorry, I did not really like this one.
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wow. i like the rhyme and the couplets! best of luck! -
Nice, if not a little antiquated..
I loved the flow of this piece, the rhyme was constant and enjoyable.. it reminds me of a poem i wrote once,, called syrup on obsidian.. three mutant hand bunnies!
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Nice flow to this! It was short and to the point, which I enjoyed immensely. I just love the emotion here.
"Let me feel,
what i cannot see."
Nice! I just adore those lines. Thanks for entering. -
nice flow
Pyro
i like this, nice and snappy, very good flow, got to the end with out falling over the meter, dont really think i could find fault with it.
Michael
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