Half buried in roses
of a fragrant esteem,
thorns scrape across
a pale white frame,
a singular thought
within a lucid dream,
dead eyes wrought
a mourning sky declaim;
the warded key to a gilded cage
golden and pristine,
binding heart and soul the same
behind locks refusing to disengage,
the hope of love bathed in pain
and the sparkle that once
made mortal eyes to gleam,
a ruby reminder on a choker chain
or a murder of crows which hunts,
hands of a clock can't turn a page
how tragicically ironic it seems.
Author notes
Image Prompt:
Artist Credit ~ Stagnation by *empatia ~
http://www.deviantart.com/print/1738416/
A contest entry
- Art Inspiration!!!! by PerfectImperfection.
687 points, ended April 11, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow...
You sure know how to use imagery through your great chioce of vocabulary...I must admit though, it is a bit over my head...lol..an intellect I am not.But you got the bronze for a reason here..YOur structure is really good but it is definitely your imagery that brings the readers all the way through this piece!!! A great take on the picture as well.....You have a very poetic style of writing, I'll give you that!!! Thanks for sharing with me!!!~~Toni~~
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Wow...what i pic! I don't know how you pulled it off so nicely! I especially like the last stanza...great job!
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An excellent take on the prompt chosen. A solemn glance into the depth of pain expressed in just a flash. Great write! Thank you so much for your entry!
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to me that looks neater [maybe it's just my opinion] so to me, you've just made a great thing even better [!] ^^ great job once again.
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I enjoyed the flow of the first stanza and could see clearly through your eyes. Love trying to enter or to break out as viewed in your sencond stanza creates a dynamic interplay between real and sureal. The final three lines entertains a sobering thought. In all, a strong write with much to ponder. Best wishes in the contest. Frans
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this is beautiful and i love the dark aspect of it. a little suggestion: if you put it into even only 3 or so stanzas it would make it all the more engaging.. and easier to read [and would keep the reader's attention more]. but overall its a really nice poem. good job!
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Excellent
Very creative and so well done. A great expression for the picture. Best of luck in the contest.
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bravo
neat and very nifty, rapid flow and interesting use of both true and near rhyme, shades of Wilfred Owen... very well done throughout... bravo... bravo...
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