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Slices Of Agony


Blemishes began to appear,
ebonizing slowly over time.
Deceit cloaked the heart,
betrayal drenched the mind.

Senses engulfed with agony,
words cut like fraudulent ice.
Every atrocious lie you told,
delivered another fatal slice.

Envenomed with resentment,
darkest hearts devour.
Showering spheres of pain,
within their absorbent power.

Desolation and misery seep,
sobbing bitterly consoles.
Spirit torn to shreds,
fragmented is the soul.

Through a perforated haze,
all hope washed away.
Along with the dreams,
that maybe you'd stay.

 

Author notes

Prompt; title...'Slices Of Agony'
LadyDementia

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Silly Rabbit.
    April 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love the words you chose for this piece, it makes it sound so much more sophisticated and wise.
    keep up the good work.

  • Musafir
    April 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is good poem... though with sad tune.
    I liked the lines...Blemishes began to appear,
    ebonizing slowly over time.
    Good luck in the contest.



  • Temptation.
    April 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. the last line was a heart stopper. i loved it. =] i wish i could write like you, you are amazing =] good luck in the contest. i hope you get gold, you deserve it.


  • Glasyalabolas
    April 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This piece has such excellent wording to put across the emotions. Very strong.

    Good write.


  • Desire gold member
    April 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Moly!!

    Powerful message also verse in rhyme which grabs
    Wonderful weaving of words~~

    Desolation and misery seep,
    sobbing bitterly consoles.
    Spirit torn to shreds,
    fragmented is the soul.
    These lines grab~~

    Another one to love...
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    Best wishes too
    and much love~ Desire~*~



  • Blooming Poet
    April 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ohhh. I really like your take on the prompt. and you even made a background or used a background that says your username. Beautiful work here. Great form and well penned.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    April 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW that was so powerful!!! You have described this kind of pain to a tee... such amazing words you have chosen and woven together! I'm blown away hunny.. I felt the pain in this and have experienced those emotions!

    Outstanding!!


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    April 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Rare am I speechless !
    Wow hunni this is amazing, got to be one of your best writes.
    Your words blew my mind the whole piece reaps the pain, the impact bleeds with in a mind. Awesome lines, of which I cannot pick out which one is stronger then the other, because they all are...
    Sends a chill
    Hugs Julie xx

1 - 8 of 8