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Now it's my turn.

The hate in his eyes,

the emotion over throws me.

 

He sits there, unable to move,

in my grasp at last.

 

A black eye,

cuts on his face,

torn clothes,

and bloody wrists

where the ropes

that tie him to the chair

have cut through his skin.

 

He sits there helpless,

he should be begging,

but he just stares into me,

hate and evil in his eyes.

 

Like he knows

that I wouldnt hurt him.

 

He is wrong.

 

I take a knife from behind my back,

and hold it up to my face.

 

His stare does not drift,

but a cold sweat is running down his forehead.

 

I approach him,

knife still drawn.

His eyes drill into mine.

I am not intimidated.

 

This just makes me madder.

 

I rise the knife to his throut,

teasing,

running the blunt side of the blade

slowly accross his neck.

 

He shivers at the touch of the knife,

but still he shows no other sign of fear.

 

I brush his dark hair out of his eyes,

level my head with his.

 

'I love you,' I wisper

and I run the sharp knife

deep into his left arm.

 

He throws his head back and screams,

deep and chilling.

 

His body becomes tight as he turns to look me in the eye,

this should have thretened him,

but the lothe in his eyes becomes even deeper.

 

'I hate you,' he whispers back sharply.

 

His breaths are short,

yet he manages a cruel smile

mocking me.

 

I am furious,

I know I can end his time

with one movement.

 

I place the sharp end of the knife on his neck,

still the smile is not wiped from his lips.

 

As I summon the strength

to lunge the knife,

I find myself turning away,

as the knife drops on the floor.

 

Tears in my eyes,

I turn,

revolted.

And I know he has won

again.

 

I leave him there,

blood running down his arm.

 

It is not untill I have left

that one single tear

runs down his blood stained face,

smirking.

 

Author notes

This was a sper-of-the-moment poem.
I just let it flow.
I Love this poem, i think its one of my bests. Although it is dark, looking over it i can still feel the emotion that i put into it when i wrote it. Whether it wins a contest or not is up to the judge. Different people get different opinions of other peoples poems. i only hope that those who read it enjoy it.
(Option one)

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Handcuffs of Love
    October 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I truly enjoyed this!!So much emotion.So very dark.So very good. Fantastic write!Great detail.Good flow. Very good description.


  • Timespell
    October 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well... I really think you should of slit his throat and pulled his tongue out the cut... Then feed it back into his mouth, ha! There would be no more smirking from him..lol Nice Piece, but you should get that real darkness into it. Maybe this could just be the first part of many more, well I really enjoyed reading this one from you. Let me know if you think about doing another part on this.

    You should definitely get a trophy in this contest!

    Good luck in the contest

    Have a look at my entry's:

    The Hitchhiker: http://allpoetry.com/poem/3763574
    The Pastor: http://allpoetry.com/poem/3772812


  • Florida Sunshine
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You definately capture the readers attention right from the start. It picture you've posted on the front gives this just the edge it needs. Suicide asked me to help judge... why... when I hate dark poetry... but I didn't hate this... well written kept my attention. Borders on the classic sense of scary... and intense.

    Nice job ~ good luck in the contest ~

    Florida Sunshine


  • My Souls Reflection gold member
    September 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A fantastic write, of that there is no question...much applause from me.
    However, I have to ask though that you please remove this entry from my daughters (magikal fairy poet) contest as she is only 10yrs old and this is not the kind of poetry that I would like her to be reading at her tender age. Much appreciated


  • nevadapoet
    September 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a beautiful write, a great entry for this contest. A perfectly penned write with great flow and good imagery. Thank you for the entry. Keep the pen flowing...the pleasure was all mine.
    Nevadapoet


  • KyleBerg gold member
    September 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Woah. Creepalicious!

    Got chills from reading this, it's very powerful.
    The anger and pain is so vividly described. I was a bit confused about who to empathise with for a while, but by the end i decided i hated the guy. I assume (from the title) that you have felt like he has done this torture thing to you metaphorically and now you were getting your revenge?

    I swear i like twitched or something when i read the last word.. "smirking".. Argh!! Just stab him!!

    Great work


    • November-Dani
      September 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Im so glad you perceived my poem like that, that is exactly what i mean. I had to laugh when I read ur comment. Argh!! Just stab him!! haha. Thank you ever so much for commenting.
      Im glad you enjoyed it!
      Dani.


  • Demonic Beauty gold member
    September 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the darkness that runs through this poem.
    It gave me goosebumps, and thats quite hard.
    In my view, it is an amazing piece.
    And you should be quite proud.
    Your spelling may not be perfect but
    Im sure it will improve over time.
    A Massive Well Done.
    Thankyou, for sharing it with us.


  • Green Manalishi gold member
    September 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great, but too long by 17 lines.


  • Tom The Invader
    September 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The proper term is more mad, not madder. And 'throught' should be 'throat'. Much easier to spell and is, in fact, correct. It's good to just let a poem flow, because you never really know where it will take you, but revisions, especially in spelling and word usage must me made. At first I thought it was an interrogation, like at a POW camp. Other than the spelling, well done.


  • Fallen Hard
    August 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    really good


  • peregrin
    August 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...
    Um... very dark,
    very dark!
    Perfect!
    I love it!
    Such emotion!
    Gah!
    Amazing!
    Good work!
    Good luck in my contest!


  • vampirebloodlust
    May 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This... is a nice poem. It's very emotional and have alot of gore and hatred. I love it. Though, you should work on your spelling a bit. Its wonderful, keep up the good writes.


  • InMyFlames
    April 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is really good... you have improved heaps
    i love this last stanze
    "It is not untill I have left
    that one single tear
    runs down his blood stained face,
    smirking."

    it really left me thinking well done


  • musik-freek
    April 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Whoa... I'm scareded now Dani! You're scaring me!! But It was a great poem.... Freikin scary but great. love you.


    • November-Dani
      April 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      lol thanks, im glad you like it. To be honest i didnt know i had it in me.

      love you
      Dani

1 - 16 of 16