I love to tear apart my heart
Just to see what is inside
I love to go back to the start
Just to remember why I cried
I love to hear myself scream
Ripping apart my mind
Just to kill my self esteem
I love to damage my sensitive skin.
With blades and flames,
Let the blood drip down my chin.
I love to taste your hate
Upon my tongue of evil
But for you my blood shall wait.
Coursing through swollen veins,
This ooze has grown quite ill.
Choked in love's raw chains,
Your betrayal is now a skill.
Wasting away upon a bed of lies,
My innocence you just had to kill.
With hands and heart unsteady
The mind may lay sedated
But the soul is silent and ready
At the hand of what you created
This love has died already
I loved what you had hated
Silent and still,
This sickness is at its best.
Disliking your fake goodwill,
Your games I do detest.
Forgetting all that is right,
I'm in love with the wrong.
Your devotion is a snake bite,
That echo's my hearts song.
Resolution is never to come,
While Im wilting at your side.
My tears have become numb,
With words of being denied.
Death is not the answer,
Though life is not the question.
Rotting from your cancer,
I have one simple suggestion.
Use the knife you used to carve my name,
And plunge it into my heart.
I will lie and say I'm to blame,
For the reason why we must part.
Bleed my insides dry,
And remember my beauty at this time.
For what better way to say goodbye,
Than in commiting love's ultimate crime.
Author notes
Option # 3
I hope you enjoy
A contest entry
- Hypnotic Poison by gypsyfan.
600 points, ended June 9, 2008, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm a Bitch, I'm a Lover? by Poetic Obscenity.
1000 points, ended July 6, 2008, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold rhymed poems only. by ecrivain01.
550 points, ended February 11, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I agree with Kathraina, the imagery is fantastic and it flows right off the tongue. Congrats on the previous trophies and good luck in the contest x
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Good piece. It flows really well, and the imagery is intense. Such a sad story to it though, but many including myself have been there.
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Wow... this was amazing. It leaves me speechless. This right here is the perfect example of what i was looking for. Everything about it is just... wow. Amazing. =]
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WOW... the pain reached inside me... i felt every word and can relate to it too... the wording and the rhyming the smooth flow it creates and the layout of it as well all just goes so well... thank you for entering into my contest... i love it
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DROP DEAD GORGEOUS?
This is an amazing piece. The story line itself is to die for. The flow was great. The rhyming made it all fit so well. Your word usage kept me intrigued every single step of the way. Though it was long, it never for once got boring.
You've got an amazing write here. Full of hard core emotion.
At this point, i'd spotlight some things that i truly enjoyed but with this, i find that the entire thing is filled with ingenius lines. I mean, it's just all very amazing.
Great job. Thank you for your entry. Good luck and welcome to the finalists list. -
beautifully detailed
your words rise up and fall to detail the imagery and flow very well,,,I enjoyed your write tremendously,,,blessings of light,life,laughter and love...Fire storm
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Love It
Stanzas three and five check spelling "grown" and "innocence" then in five "that's". If you correct, you will be a finalist, and actually a favorite. The mispelling just detracts slightly and I want perfection!This really was great.
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Great flow to this poem, and the ryhmes are also good!
Not my normal preferred style, but I still enjoyed the write. The pain and feelings behind the poem come through really well. Some of the imagery you have used is also very good.
Thanks for entering, and good luck!
Sunny
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Great write, I liked the way it flowed and the hurt and pain behind it. Relationships are hard, and this describes it well. Thanks for entering!
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Resolution is never to come,
While Im wilting at your side. I like that line because it speaks truth. It is missing an apostrophe though. I'm to make it I am. Thank you for your entry. -
Great job on this poem! I really like the flow that it has - it works well with the piece. This also has a lot of powerful imagery and great lines, so that added a lot of this poem. My favorite stanzas are stanzas one and two because of the emotion and imagery in them that is conveyed beautifully. I also like how your last line connects with the title - that makes the piece feel finished and ties it all together. I think the title of this is original and conveys the poem well too, so great job on that. Great job and good luck in the contest!
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Oh so powerful again here, so deep and everything, the pain just rise, giving meaning in such words as always from you...
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wow. that was damn good write dear. very heartfelt and well written, about such a cliche topic but written well, so that it didn't seem cliche at all. good luck in the contest!!
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