Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

the truth

Everyone is a murderer- and they themselves are the victims.
They look inside themselves and don't recognize what they see.
And so they hide what they found from the world and cover it with lies.

Can they ever love themselves again?
If they do it will most likely be too much.
The over-confident fool struts around glowing with pride.
Eventually they look inside again and don't like what they see.
And so the cycle starts anew.

Yet there are those who break this cycle.
They look inside and are unafraid.
They have faults, as do we all,
But they face these faults with love.
They have a hidden knowledge of the world:
Humans have faults, as they do strengths, and there is no perfect at all.

How did they come about this knowledge?
What does it mean?
That I can not tell you.
For I am but a witness
To a world of complications.
Sorrow fills the world as I look on,
A distant traveler waving farewell.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • aanika
    February 6

    Edit | Reply
    no.

    this feels like more of a rant than a poem or prose. I liked the ideas, but not the way they were worded or the flow.

    thanks for entering.


  • stasis
    February 1

    Edit | Reply

    no

    There is no real flow to this piece at all, at least that I could find. I also feel that this would have sounded a lot better with the use of more poetic device [imagery, metaphor, etc.].

    Please wait for the other judge to comment.

    ♣ Tegan

  • Vera Rich
    November 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh dear - "NO" again. - I am growing almost as disappointed as you must be!


  • SignifyingNothing
    August 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice job. This really presented your ideas in an organized way and made them interesting to the reader. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great poem its very well written with emotion and my favorite part was when you said "Yet there are those who break this cycle. They look inside and are unafraid. They have faults, as do we all, But they face these faults with love. They have a hidden knowledge of the world: Humans have faults, as they do strengths, and there is no perfect at all." loved it thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck ..<3.. Shelly


  • Angelflower
    May 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was a ver intense write,
    and the imagery may need a little work
    but it was still there and vivid..
    You have great insight and wisdom
    for one so young..
    Keep up the great work.
    Best of luck and thank you for sharing this with us..

    Angel


  • Randomly Beautiful
    April 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I would love to have seen this with shorter line breaks, and more imagery. Thanks for the time.


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    April 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to AllPoetry

    Are you sure you are only 14 years old?
    You have a lot of wisdom and sorrow in your ink, this is a fierce write that makes me stop and take notice

    ♥
    Enjoy AllPoetry
    Stay safe
    ~Manda

1 - 8 of 8