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My Letter Goodbye

Dear mom and dad,

I packed all my things

And climbed out the window

Being caught the moment I got out.

I was sent back home by the police

Little did they know the beating you’d give me.

So, I lay in bed

Nursing these wounds

Hoping beyond hope that you’d be leaving soon.

When you said you were leaving for a few days,

I tried to keep the joy from becoming evident on my face,

You locked all the doors and left me home alone,

Little did you know that soon I’d be leaving this God- forsaken home.

So, I packed all my things

And unlocked all my doors

I wrote you this goodbye letter

And guess what?

I didn’t get caught this time!

Author notes

So this is for a new contest. My first actually, I hope you like it regardless.

A contest entry

Did you like it? Did it stir up something inside of you?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • conniev1 silver member
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    It's really very good.

    You are so talented, just like your Mother. You describe the pain that someone in that circumstance feels. You are so very insightful. Your wording is also very good. Very nicely done. Love you, Mom.


  • Perception
    April 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good. I can really feel the emotion through this one, and I felt emotionally attached to you -- I could feel your pain, anger and... Happiness towards the end.
    Well done

  • LaurenLightning--x
    April 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful.
    I love the twist at the end, the whole not getting caught thing. The poem changes the readers mood. Impressive.
    I love the rhyme in this! It really helps with the flow of the piece and doesn't appear at all forced.
    The lines :

    Nursing these wounds
    Hoping beyond hope that you’d be leaving soon.

    Are heartbreakingly beautiful.

    Well done! This is a beautiful poem.

    Thank you for entering and good luck!

    Arc-En-Ciel--x


    • DreadfullyEverAfter
      April 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much! You brightened up my whole day! Now to work on my essay! Do you know if you can post stories on here?

      • LaurenLightning--x
        April 2, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        Yes you can post stories on here =]
        If you scroll right to the bottom of your page (the very bottom) there are three lines of options, on the second line down it says "our sites" there is a sight for posting stories, your stories will also show up on your allpoetry user page. I hope I explained that well enough!

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