Suzanne like, she came to your place near the river
Mask in hand, you could never love her or even forgive her
As the skyscrapers sank like pints in the blood orange sun
You were not the passover but the solitary only one
Watching and waiting for the card that is so high and wrong
You managed to curse the Hallelujah in a spiritual and special song
Tambourines and sharp clastanets in the strains of If it be thy will
Echoed and serrated itself on the blood red window sill
Rags of light and the potiental plummage of South American feathers
You stuck your Dracula lips on him in a homage to be together
Caked in the Tarrentino standoff, of the aimed guns
The sisters of Mercy were not the only real forced Nuns
Dead under the bridge with wrists like Helicon, arterial, waterfalls
You searched for your identity in the halls of the empty halls
Cast into song like the fable of the Famous blue raincoat
Your body was lifeless, yet managed to stay perfectly afloat
Symmetry as foretold and the crooked stoop in the Chelsea hotel
A dying matador and the take the waltz of the living hell
The lemon scents and the crabs and the Moon controlling the whole
Plaguarise your virus and written words into my complete soul
Georges.
Author notes
A tribute to leonard Cohen and Federico Garcia lorca.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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You are indeed a wordsmith, language distinguishingly crafted and presented in such a way that one cannot help but take notice and give pause to savor. Allowing each line to draw you in deeper and roll within the mind over and over again. There's a lot to like about this piece and overall you did a wonderful job here. Thank you for sharing your words with me and best wishes to in all of your endeavors. Keep that quill dipped in ink and ever ready for use dear poet.
♥ Touchof1der -
It was good.
I think it was a really good poem. There were a few spelling errors, but it had really no effest on the poem, I just wanted you to know for futer reference.
The poem had a strange quality to it, though, not in a bad way. The meter was incredible, and the lines were long enough to use rhyme and still make it seem like a sort of abstract and almost free verse poem.
The allusion was amazing; the use of metaphors and comparisons was very well done, and it only added to your poem; if some other people were to use the amount of metaphor that you used, it would make the poem seem run-of-the-mill and boring. But, the way you did it only hints to a very real talent.
It was an incredible poem to read, and I look forward to reading more of what you have written ^_^
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