Poetry,
it’s an art to me
ink spilling out all over the page
I am in a painful rage
random feelings and words scattered
the edges of the paper are tattered
reviewing it in my head
my feelings may never be said
Author notes
Mutated ink on normal paper
A contest entry
- PIF - Word Prompts - 20 - 50 words by Freestyle Bushido.
600 points, ended April 4, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Welcome ladies and Gents by RawrSmileBabyPlz.
450 points, ended July 11, 2008, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn your Green Trophies into Bronze, Silver or Gold (3) by FloridaGatorQueen.
600 points, ended July 22, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - best prewrites by dory.
500 points, ended July 30, 2008, 89 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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This is an awesome poem. I like the way you express your writing poetry. Enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.
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Ahmazing it was very good for such a short poem. Thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck.
Shelly -
Wonderfully expressive ~ love it ~ congrats on your HM win
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hiraeth makes some points about what poetry is... but i would like to point out some things... first this rocked my socks off... second poetry or pieces are what the writer makes them... you either get them or you dont... like the taste of beer... and while metered, rhyme, metaphors, originality, all of these things are great for a piece/poem... but like i just read somewhere else, words are all recycled... they have all been spoken and written before... and what matters most is what you think and feel about the piece... I LOVED IT!!!
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Heh, doesn't sound like art to me, but I suppose we all have our own definitions of what poetry is... to me, it's innovation, not so much a spill of emotion. Grrr on the Romantics and postmodernists for leading to the downfall of poetry. Anyway, the poem could use some elaboration, and while you have some potentially good images (the tattered, ink-splattered paper), it falls short, since the rhyme is awkward (metre is indeed your friend) and you haven't described anything in an original way. You've merely told your readers, a habit I've noticed in some of your other poems. If you ever revise this, let me know cos I'd like to see what you can do.
hiraeth. -
Ah, yes!
I like the flow in this one very much so. This feels like you just threw it out there - your words just came out in a quick jolt, like "ink spilling out all over the page". Then "I am in a painful rage" sounds like you are aggrivated about the way this is going... The words cannot come out fast enough, your emotions are not keeping balance with the speed of your hand, your thoughts are going too fast----- it's running wildly. I can feel that intensity in this poem. The ending line fits perfectly as well. "My feelings may never be said" ~ perhaps all these emotions are too personal that the ink and paper was needed... and yet still, they might never get out. This is a good piece of word... really shows the nature and crux of poetry.
Thanks for your entry, and good luck!
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I enjoyed the imagery in this and your words speak volums to me. Good luck in the contest.
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the rhyme was okay, it kind of lost its rhythm somewhat in the middle, however the imagery was well displayed. Thank you for entering and good luck.
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Love it!
Needs a tiny bit of work but best of luck! -
I like the rhyme but I feel like so much more could be said! But, sometimes, simplicity wins. Good luck in the contest. <3
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What a great write, Amy... you encapsulated the creative (and not so creative) process in clean, well formed lines... Well done!
Ken
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This is an amazing poem that describes the process of creative writing and writers block. I enjoyed it very much. Best of luck in the contest.
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omg! this is so true. sometimes u write and its just like a pen exploded. ur writing everything ur thinkin and feelin at the moment. and sometimes ur emotions are so overwelling. good luck in the contest sis!
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