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bleed beautiful

you tell me i am nothing,
but daddy's little [whore]
then you tell me i am stupid,
for wanting to cut more,
too much hurt in your words,
then your fist reaches my face,
when all that is over you decide another hit,
this agony i feel is nothing compared to the pain in my heart,
that i must admit...

finally you leave the room,
the memories come back to me,
they hurt like pouring salt into an open wound,
why cant you see,
that the cuts i make are the scars from you,
all your painful words..

pick up the knife,
wishing to end this life,
just another cut,
as my eyes start to shut,

feel the cold steel across my pale skin,
almost like red fire coming from pale ice,
this new pain hurts like hell,
but at the same time a release does dwell,

oh just watch my wrist bleed beautiful,
another cut, another sigh of relief,
then death comes finally no more grief,
and with my final breath i shall whisper..
i....
                don't....
                                     hate...
                                                  you

Author notes

hope its not too much,
my muse is sorta dead atm hehe,
but hey i tried

A contest entry

tell me what you think?

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • gatheren
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    distubing but good all in all

  • Sexyboi
    August 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I loved it its dark witty and obviously very brilliant.....kudos to you....my favorite lines had to be....."you tell me i am nothing,
    but daddy's little [whore]
    then you tell me i am stupid,
    for wanting to cut more,
    too much hurt in your words,
    then your fist reaches my face,
    when all that is over you decide another hit,
    this agony i feel is nothing compared to the pain in my heart,
    that i must admit...

    finally you leave the room,
    the memories come back to me,
    they hurt like pouring salt into an open wound,
    why cant you see,
    that the cuts i make are the scars from you,
    all your painful words.."


  • Mila7
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great write! I really like this poem, the emotion, so incredibly expressed. And the end... the end is marvelous so unexpected but heart touching. Well done


  • movedon
    June 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow. really scary but your talent comes shining through in this piece.

    Mylee


  • Nikki Rowles
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so deep and touching (not in a good way) and haunting....it's a shame the rape victims will be blamed for it.....*shakes her head in dismay*


  • SarahEatsAirplane
    April 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    your poetry reflects something so real. its great.
    and your words tell the truth, and nothing but the truth.

    good job and good luck.


  • Little Lottie
    April 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Though the third stanza seemed a little shaky in the first four or so lines of it, the overall piece was wonderful. It was powerful. Good job and good luck, love.


  • raggyann
    April 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    it is sad when one hurts so much inside that they cut themslves to stop the pain on the inside
    i hate it
    because it hurts me to know that anyone hurts this much
    and i wish i could stop their pain
    this is a sad but true poem
    you wrote it as you felt it


  • Dark Whispers
    April 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You start this off beautifuly, but towards the middle you stopped rhyming as consistantly and which threw the poem in to sort of an stumble, but the ending was powerful, a great ending

  • DarkRomantic113
    April 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I liked the ending.


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    April 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    I really am entranced by your words through out this poem. I just really felt that darkness deep within start to slowly creep up & rise from the depths and shadow my vision as I read this poem. This is one extremely well penned dark write & I must say your analogies through out this are mighty impressive. I have a really fav part of your poem here:

    as my eyes start to shut,

    feel the cold steel across my pale skin,
    almost like red fire coming from pale ice,
    this new pain hurts like hell,
    but at the same time a release does dwell,

    I just really love that raw depth emotion & abstract imagery you painted with those words. Over all this is one impressive dark poem and I give you my full standing ovation & applauses for this truly remarkable write. keep up the excellent work and good luck with the contest. <3, Paul


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    April 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I luffles you always beautiful and you have penned such strong feelings that i know are deep with a personal sentiment in them. am always here for you

1 - 12 of 12