Planes Walker
Niaish Ma eno, children. Gather round I have a story for you all. Sit down little ones and let me tell you of my foolish pride. Do not be afraid of these sightless eyes. (Several children sit on the schoolyard grass as the old man is led to a seat.) Leaning unsteadily on a makeshift staff, decorated with an eagle feather, he sits with a sad smile.
When I was a young man, my grandfather taught me. He taught me of the spirit world and of our kindred animal spirits. The coyote and the wolf were my guides on my path. They gave me wisdom, cunning and the ability to tell a good story.
I walk at will from reality to the world of dreams.
I am the mystic, the sage, and the shaman.
I am the Planes Walker.
From the wisdom of my teachers, I learned that the sleeper can awaken in the night. I practiced 'lucid dreaming.' You ask what this means. I bend the night world to my will.
My aspects (or totems) of animal nature are the wolf and the coyote. I loved to run wild in the dream world, acting out the worst of my inner nature. Who would have ever thought, in your dreams, there is a consequence for your actions.
One night I was given the ‘gift of transformation’ in a dream. I was a small bird. I'm not sure what kind, maybe, a sparrow.
Being one with the animal body and spirit, I moved with an agility that I had never felt before. I twisted and turned and I flew. My wings blurred as "I was."
I came to a clearing in the skies, ascending higher and higher. At the peak of my flight, I tried to transform into an eagle. I wanted power. I wanted the chase. I wanted the blood. As I changed form I looked up and saw the light of the Great Spirit.
I fell out of my flight, passing through nightmarish realms that to this day leaves me cold. What I woke up to was the realization,
"that there is a power greater than me."
Children, I've grown tired. Dwell on the things the elders speak. Let its truth speak to your souls. Thank you, for listening to this old story teller.
Daughter, pull me up. I grow more feeble with each day. Thank you, for letting me lean on you. Misty Rainwater why so quiet? I feel sadness flowing. What is wrong?
Grandfather, how did you lose your eyes?
Daughter, I tell you because I need you to replace me; to tell the stories of those before me, my stories and eventually yours. When I woke up from that dream, the image of the Great Spirit was engraved onto my eyes. To continually see and not be part of him caused my insanity. I plucked my eyes out.
Now, I see in a different way.
Author notes
I hope, you enjoy Maa and Mairi
A contest entry
- Tour De Monde (Amazing Race Season 2) - Auditions by Errant Panther.
300 points, ended April 17, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To dream these dreams by Lagrimas.
525 points, ended June 12, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Criticize freely, I need input to improve
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Of old stories and different times
Your piece here reminds me of my grandmother. She is an excellent story teller and there are stories in the Tlingit culture about the affects our actions have. While this is not a poem, more a story, I like it any way and want to thank you for entering. Good Luck!
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wow !
now your story has the power to bring goosebumps all over my body - and trust me, this is a clear sign for me that there is a higher power flowing through your verse ...
shapeshifting into this old, humble man, has transformed you into a living offering to us - I am deeply touched by your sharing of your open heart ...
the ending of your story has gifted us with a profound lesson that I won't forget for a long time ...
I have the impression, that something has happened within you during those last few days ... I don't know ... it might have been initiated by your joining of tender wolf's group ... whose loving way of receiving and guiding might have offered you the necessary comfort and trust to surrender and let the river of life-love-wisdom flow ...
I am very happy to "meet" you,
maa
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Thanks for the reread
I felt something different also, after reworking this story. I wanted to share that with you. Yes, that group has healing abilities. I feel natural there. In my wolf being, I know the forest
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Just catching up with some of your work. This was fascinating to read. I don't know anything about Native American Culture, reading this has left me wanting to find out more about it. Wishing you the best always sweetness
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W0W
To carry the totem of the wolf is a wonderful thing indeed...he can teach you many things and yet send lessons hard to deal with unless you become humble...Coyotes howls off in the distance making you think he is mightier than he really is...follow his trail and you find him just chasing his own tail...our dreams allow for the inner freedom that we all seek but yet this power greater than us will keep us close to Earth Mother...smiles...I to carry this Totem~
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Yes, I enjoyed, very much.
There is a touch of the H P Lovecraft about this (a writer's style I have emulated myself), but I think you need to revise and tidy it up a little, making sure you have everything pat, all the grammar and punctuation. Oh, and NEVER say anything like "beyond my ability as a poet", because the readership will believe you, and look for weaknesses. Your descriptive powers are good, so do not cry stinking fish!
Thank you for the dedication.
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Hi Mairi
You would do me an honor by recritiquing this rewrite. The link is http://allpoetry.com/poem/4084745. Thank you, for the looksee. Blessings
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hahaha, you knew maa would come to this page, didn't you ? I was delighted to read a bit of your background history concerning your life in parallel realms ... seeing that wolf and coyote walk by your side, makes me smile and reassure me that I had perceived this side of yours correctly when I wrote "red riding hood and the trickster" for your contest ...
admitting that you were striving for "power" and enjoying it, already proves lucidity and shows of humility ... I believe that we all have lived many lives where we abused of certain powers obtained through ritual and magic ... with the consequences we know ...
in this life, we most certainly have to revisit those places either through books, films, dreams or temporary attachment to certain traditions ... in order to rediscover our gifts we one owned, using it in a selfless way this time ...
I am happy to meet you again in this life, and am convinced that we will help each other to become the "empty vessels through which a higher power will flow", in service to those in need ...
namaste
maa
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Thank you, sister
I reworked this piece, completely. Please give it another read. The link is http://allpoetry.com/poem/4084745. I look forward to you 'tearing it apart.' I need a thorough critique that will examine its flaws. Thanks Maa
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