Into the night the storm rages ever,
Out from the coast to the lone atoll’s bay,
On this cold shore I mark that endeavor
Facing to East in the cold salty spray.
On the horizon ships in the gloaming
Those gossamer fleets so deathly and pale,
The wind comes up, the combers all foaming,
Each ship propelled by a wan ghostly sail.
Waves crash high on this dark rocky headland,
As under these cliffs the fey Sirens call,
Beckon those fleets to come to this deadland,
Here where the witch-cursed and moon shadows fall.
Then I awake to a ghostly screaming,
Which is my own as it rollicks the night,
It was naught but me deep in my dreaming,
Though on the sea are dim patches of white.
On the horizon ships in the gloaming
These gossamer fleets so deathly and pale,
The wind comes up, the combers all foaming,
Each ship propelled by a wan ghostly sail.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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that line is not missing a beat, the beat has been substituted into another line, the beauty of a line right after it ... substitution, a valid and very expert use of rythmn to avoid the pitfalls of inexpert poets whose poetry so often just gallops along like an absent minded cow .... this is brilliant and moving
bravo to you, i am stunned with your expertise and subtlety i only find as a rule where true poets flash their quills like knifes and then lay down smudges of most lovely warfares, some gentle, some not, but all in honorable fashion and well honed.
yep
don't change nothin
Moqui
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Seems like this line is missing a beat, "Then I awake to a ghostly screaming,"
Otherwise wonderful. Really liked the description in this. It was very vivid and pulled me in.
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Excellent
What else can I say.
You capture a chilling feel of surf and seas which can not be denied.
Jim
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OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo!! BRAVO!! You knew I'd love this because it has ships, ghosts, sirens, and witches built in.
Love the foaming and the ghostly sail and waves crashing. 
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Loved this Michael; so well written with vivid imagery! Well done.
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