Pen held in the left hand
even the right would work
no one can guess what you'll do
it's one thing that everyone should love
still, there are people who don't enjoy it
really, there are, trust me
everyone wants to know what you're gonna do
all the eyes are on you
don't shake, keep your hand steady
You are now ready.
As you draw the first line
letters start to form and
wildly, your hand flies.
at the peak of your ecstatic writing
you realize that this is something you NEED
So, you make sure that the...
Author notes
This is an acrostic style poem. the first letter of each line spells something (usually the title! )
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Lovely acrostic although it did lack some power. I liked the effortless flow and I liked that you ended it the way you did. I thought that this was a worthy entry and we are all here to expand our knowledge and poetic muscle. You have some muscle here and I cannot wait to see how Arkbear and Mel will help you shape it.
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Hi there :)
I will begin by agreeing with Melanie.....this is not challenging enough.....and if you think this was challenging, then you are in for a heck of a ride in the next few Rounds......but only if you make it there ~
As Melanie mentioned.....this is not to seem discouraging in the least....but maybe it will be, and maybe it is what you need to push you the extra inch to give more of yourself next time :)
Taking the easy road in the first few Rounds will not get you to Round 3 or 4, and you'll probably get upset at us for being so blunt.....but after 5 other Challenges, I have seen numerous Poets do the same thing here.....*playing safe* until they feel back in their comfort zones*.....and it doesn't work that way here ~
Yes, the Acrostic may have been harder for some Poets than others, but all it is, is beginning the next line in your poem, with the next letter in your Title....period ~
Your Theme was not covered thouroughly enough IMO, and you seemed to have said nothing new......and the Theme you have chosen is something so very cliche' and written about numerous times....almost killing it 100 times over ~
I chose you as one of the top 3 Poets to win this thing in secret with Melanie......ask her if you don't believe me.....and after reading this entry, I have to say....I hope you make it through to the next Round ~
The ONLY way you are going to be here for Round 2, is if someone else jumps ship and gets eliminated first :(
If you make it to Round 2....you have to promise me this....>>>>
1. Bring out your most powerful quill......
2. Open your most valueble inkwell.....
3. Decide you are going to win this no matter what it takes......
& 4. Decide to step on toes to get our attention if you want our jaws to plop!
I challenge you to do those 4 simple things :)
Good luck to you,
....and please do not run from this Challenge....run TO IT with teeth grinding!
Bear ~
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Okie dokie.
I love actrostic poems, but I feel that this selection was an easy out for your. You did not take the risk to try something new and daring. I found myself quite bored. I do not mean to discourage you in any way... I wanted to see you unfold and fold your talent, and share a piece of your self with us this week. The picture was to be your source of inspiration.... and I feel you did not dig into the emotions of that picture. Why was that person writing? was the wind whispering? was there a secret love that this poem was to arrive to, stained with tears and scented with passion? I want emotion... metaphor... We will be focusing more on that next week. I wish you the best of luck, and I want to see you push yourself... I know you have it there... and I want to see it. I feel you did not give me your best, but perhaps I can see part of your soul next week!
your score from me is: 79
Mel
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this is a nice poem..but would have liked to read more of it...from the state of being ready, if it could have been carried somewhere else,probably with a twist, it would have added additional interest!
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A wonderful take on the picture. Love the direction you took this. Acrostics are my fave form, mainly as they are the only one I knew until now..lol. Superbly done, good luck
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Hi Jack :)
Just a reminder from the Rules .......>>>>>
You must pick one... trust me, you CAN pick anyone you so want. BUT if you choose one that is too easy, and does not challenge you, there will be a consequence to that!
Bear ~
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this was actually a lot harder for me than you might think...
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Son!!! Lol.. this was a very good write..I really loved it.. you did a good job.. The image that you bring to the mind with your words is great..
Peace to you son.. Jetleena
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