"I hate you"
Were the last three
I said to you...
But I never
thought what I said
was true...
You cause me
so much hurt
and pain...
I think I
should just
die in the
rain...
If only I
could get one
last kiss...
It would be
the worlds
heavenly bliss..
But now your
gone and yes
thats true
I really wish
I said
"I love you"
A contest entry
- Prewrite Craze Contest by BlackSwan.
550 points, ended June 29, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For Love of Rhythm and Rhyme by RatherImaginative.
1150 points, ended November 10, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Should i fix this
Comments
-
The regret felt by the speaker is effectively expressed in this piece. The manner in which you've formed the poem works well with highlighting each phrase, though the rhyme in places is a little forced. Your piece is a reminder to bite one's tongue lest words are said that cannot be undone. Thanks so much for entering my contest!
-
Well wow don't I know what that feels like... Oh regret burns like hell.
Besides all that very nice poem, I like the small rhyming stanzas its original.
Also I don't know if you did this on purpose or not but how you started the poem with "I hate you" and end it with "I love you."
Very nice write
-GL in contest -
Good
love it. but could have used more words in it.. in certain parts. -
I like the theme of this, and I think that the emotion in it is shown very clearly.
The rhyming in this is a little elementary, but somehow that works.
Don't be afraid to push the rhyming to its fullest extent.
Great job.
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