I dream of this big happy family,
blood or not no difference to me,
But Im startin to see thats never gonna be,
all these let downs are starting to get to me,
I mean I am truly about to break,
Because Ive had all the bullshit I can take,
With every Failed ""FRIEND"" Ive poured myself into,
I've slowly began to become unglued,
I put myself out,,BACKWARDS I BEND!
letting myself be taken advantage of by all of them!
I continue ignoring all the facts time and time again,
Just allowing people to use or abuse me again!
Its like no matter how hard I try all I catch is crap,
like fishing in a pile of dog shit or somthing like that!
AINT like NO box of chocolats, Fishing in dog shit...
YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE HELL YOUR GONNA GET!!!
Man all the people Ive loved includin my blood,
have repeaditly drug me through the mud,
overlooking it and taking it.. dunno why, its all ive ever known,
I guess its how much Im so despritly terrifyed of being sad and alone!
Author notes
Just came out i dunno if many can follow but I feel like im fishin is a pile of shit! no matter how good of a fisherman I am, no matter how hard I try to look for the good within and keep hoping and being a good person and doing others the way I would hope that someone would mirically do for me even tho i had fucked up over n over cuz maybe this was the time that they truly wanted it and changed... I keep forgiving everyone for everything. and no grudges no holding anything against them... and instead of anyone being thankful or apprishating or even LOVING me or anything I have ever done for them is out of the question no one see's that! They see some one easy to get what they want from no hassel hurt me no big say sorry and your right back where you were no missing points or nothing. People see me as a tool. I cant do this anymore in my heart i know ive been doing whats right thtat that kind loving heart that wants to help anyone reaching out that it can.. is a RARE trate indeed.. But im slipping away and I am sooooo tired of no one seeing me for who i am but what i can do for them. Im tired of no one really respecting me or truly caring or loving me when they say their just thanking me or buttering me up for what they want so maybe ill keep up the good work. Im tired of knowing becoming my friend because their SCANDALISS SHALLOW sense kicks in before they hear who I am when they realize "WHoa having this pathethetic chick around could be very usefull" then they r blinded from seeing me. its almost like all anyone wants is a damn tool. But damnit Im a bright woman with a hell of a mind and personality I have talents and gifts, I DO DESERVE TO BE SEEN IM NOT OUT TO HURT NO ONE AND IF SOMEONE TOOK ME TO THEIR HEART IT WOULD BE THE BIGGEST GIFT THEY COULDA EVER ASKED FOR.. a True friend no questions asked. Even if Im not that impressive enough for someone to call their friends cuz of how cool i am or wat not... I do know I deserve better friends myself and I deserve alot more than I used to believe or demand... but Im trying to change that if i dont stand up for myself WHO THE HELL IS
SRY dont know where this all came from!
What did you think
Comments
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You shouldn't be treated like a door mat...EVER! Keep your head up, and if you need to take the weed whacker to some friendships, do so. Some people are meant to be left in the past for a reason!
Much Love,
Ann<3
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I like this...a lot...it's..yeah I like it.
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Heartbreaking
Wow, you did write a wonderful poem; truely. But sweetie, I'm sure there are a lot of crappy people out there. We are human after all, and sometimes we don't see what's right in front of us. Maybe you should try talking to these people about how you feel and what they've done to you. Maybe they don't realize what they've done until it's pointed out. I'm not saying that what your getting at isn't true, oh hell no, because there are some very evil and abusive people out there. I'm just saying that maybe there's a way that you could get help or help your own self? You really do deserve a "tax return" on all the love you spend. But great poem, I'm free to chat if you'd like to. One last thing though, you wrote "SRY dont know where this all came from!" at the end of your author's note... we're all poets here, pour your heart out, there's no need to feel you have to say sorry about it to anyone. Great read, keep it up. <3 Good luck with your ... er... problem, I s'pose you'd call it.
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