Desire or keeping you
Desire or facing the truth
The best thing thats ever happened to me
Is the worst when it comes to desicion making
Desire or not letting you go
I wish I could but i'll never know
Author notes
"Stuck between desire and compromise" - "Can't Sleep" - Above & Beyond
A contest entry
- Prompt Contest. (A) by OhNoChastity.
600 points, ended April 6, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Oooo. This was good. I like that it was short but it didn't seem empty. The length fit it. Each line stuck to the prompt, and I love the thought process of compromise.
The repitition of the word "desire" was great. It really showed the desire. It summed up the need in one word, a very strong emotion. This internal struggle is one that I feel like can be too belaboured in poetry, but it was perfect here.
The rhyming of the last too lines worked as well. The couplet added empthasis to what you felt needed to be emphasized, and it did so without locking the poem in or seeming forced. It was also noticable, but didn't make me cringe and wonder why you did it (as does happen sometimes).
I loved the line "Desire or facing the truth". I think this is just such an overpoweringly true statement. So many times people are unwilling to face the truth they know is there because they are letting their emotions take over. But I guess, isn't that what all those other poems about listening to your heart are about?
I honestly think what could make this poem even better(not that it isn't all ready great) is a bit more formatting. I think with some stylistic twists and such it could really stand out.
Thank you for entering and I hope to read more from you.
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