we all are here
but do we belong
to do the norm
and follow along
to walk these streets with no reason
an live through life without feeling
everyday you wish to stop breathing
a dark dry soul never healing
hating with bitter Passion
your pain is your sweet addiction
you do what you need while
dying inside from every infliction
your soaked in blood yet feel so whole
cuts so deep each vein is thrashing
spilling your blood and slowing your pulse
just what u wanted to see your life come down crashing
an your still here laying thinking and planing the end
longing to succeed at taking your life
in a room alone you stand about
planning the end as you play with your knife
oh you long to succeed at taking your life
Author notes
overcomeing writers i know its not the best but im trying to get through this
comment plz dont be harsh
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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i liked it
tht was a good piece and i guess im glad i came upon ur page soo yea good job and keep it up
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oooooo i likey. Great job josh keep it up
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I really love this!
damn....
I have writers block right now. It sucks.
At least you're writing something. I haven't written anything good lately *sighs...*
I see some grammatical errors, but hell with them, it doesn't matter.
I really love this part!
"hating with bitter Passion
your pain is your sweet addiction
you do what you need while
dieing inside from every infliction"
~~such a great stanza
Josherzz.... I really do like this. A lot.
It's so dark. and beautiful.
very nice write..
sincerely,
sarah ~
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thx a bunch oh!
do u mind showing me the grammar mistakes? -
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No prob
I know you say "u" a lot, so I didn't really count that. lol But I was talking about the last line in the third stanza. "dieing" should be "dying"
"your" should be "you're" in a couple of spots, but then again that's nothing big. And the first line in the last stanza should have planing be spelled "plannning"
idk that's about it.
it's fine
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That was very interesting. I can see that you are very good. Better then me probably... *doesn't think highly of self* keep at it! later!
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thx so much an i bet ur just as good
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i love this
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This is pretty good. Much luck in getting through your writers block.
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my god dude!
that was flippin awesome, keep writing, and read my poems, theyre very smilar.
~Tyleah~
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its good not as bad as you think Josher. I like it loads
Silky
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hmm first two stanzas sound eerily familiar... is it original?
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no i made it up.........
but im sure people have used it befor
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